Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Some people should be chained up in a basement...or another Chinese story

Ok, so I recently flew on a airplane, and had an aisle seat. Stupid me didn't pick my seat ahead of time, so I got stuck with 19C, which was the aisle seat right in front of the bathroom at the end of the plane.  So I'm already not happy.  Anyway, right at the end of boarding this woman comes along and sits across the aisle from me.  She's tall, thin, kind of plain (ok she's chinese and looks straight off the boat, but whatever) but about my age and looks like a normal person.  

Maybe a normal person from some backwoods rice paddy.

She reaches in her purse and ...i swear to god...pulls out a roasted ear of corn on the cob and starts chowing down like its her last meal.   Then, THEN she starts picking the shuck and hair off the damn thing and THROWS IT ON THE FLOOR IN THE AISLE.  

OK - First, where do you even get an ear of corn in the airport? Or, do ya'll think she brought it from home in her purse?  Did she think "hmm, i'm flying out this morning at 6am.. what should i take to eat on the plane? Oh I know,...CORN!"

So here she is muching away, corn flying everywhere, and throwing shit on the ground and I finally just have had it.
 
"OI!" I yell and startle her so bad she stop mid bite and looks at me wide eyed like a kid caught with the cookie jar. "Whu" she grunts at me. "Thats fucking gross, stop throwing your shit in the aisle." I tell her with all seriousness of someone who's about to shove her in the luggage compartment." "Ok" she grunts back.

So she starts throwing her strings and stuff on the OTHER side of here. Oh well I think, at least its not 7 inches away from me anymore and I lean back to my side and try to get some sleep.

But no, my friends, oh no. 

She pulls out ANOTHER ear of corn out of her purse  and starts going to town on that one! Smacking and spitting and chewing ....and then....

"SPLAT"

She was eating so fast and so hard, some of the kernals from her big juicy ear of corn shot across the aisle and 
HIT
me
in 
the 
face.

Y'all...I don't even know what to say. But the look I gave her must have been pure death becuase she put the corn back in her purse unfinished and didn't move till we landed.

1 Comments:

Blogger dan said...

At least she didn't kill a chicken.

3:10 PM  

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