Wednesday, February 08, 2006

What's the difference between Lesbians..

.. and canoes? Canoes tip.

So a Lesbian mom came over to buy some chairs I was selling. You know the type, geeky glasses, hair short and 4 different colors, tank top showing off her bushman armpits and driving a truck with EVERY LESBIAN BUMPER STICKER EVER MADE plastered to the back of it (is that sexy to them? Like "Wow, Shelia has 17 bumperstickers I really want to eat her cooch!")? I don't get it...anyway. So she brought her 3 girls along, with their equally fucked up hair and lesbian clothes. (If there is a God in heaven one of those girls will become a beauty queen just out of spite.) So we're all walking up to my apartment when one of the McButch kids yells "Mooooommm! Professor is covered all in oatmeal!!"

Ok.."Professor" the baby. What kind of fucked up shit is that?

So the Mom says "Don't worry, I'm sure Kel doesn't mind a little oatmeal."

Oh yes she do!
Kel is gay, Kel has nice things! Kel isn't a big Dyke with Wal-mark furniture that kids can wipe thier sticky paws all over! Whatever, you betta watch yo kids!

So anyway, they bought the chairs. I had to haul them down to her beat up, stickered up rug munch mobile and I"m 75 bucks richer.

Now I have to go smudge the place. Later.


Blogger DanNation said...

Just never let them trim their mullets or other areas (highly unlikely) in your home...there's nothing worse than stringy and dried-out lesbian hair.

12:43 PM  
Blogger Miss Janie said...


This story totally made my day!!! I do hope one of the McButch kids does turn into a beauty queen.

12:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my just described the Les-by-tarian culture perfectly!! Very funny....thanks for the chuckle. :)

2:11 PM  
Blogger Pope-rah said...

bwahhhhhhhh!!! So funny. No good deed goes unpunished, Kel. At least you escaped the Professor puke. Maybe that kid can grow up to marry Jason Lee's kid, Inspektor Pilot. Idiots.

4:22 PM  
Blogger Chox said...


11:48 PM  

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