Friday, September 01, 2006

Fag Stags

I have a new Fag Stag and I love him.

Ok, if you don't know what a Fag Stag is, let me explain.

I'm pretty sure everyone knows what a Fag Hag is; but just in case you live somewhere like Calgary and aren't up on lingo from the past 20 years, I'll explain my definitions.

A Fag Hag is an overly large female who is attached at a gay man's hip, goes with him to the clubs, gets very drunk, usually loses her purse/shoes/dignity and keeps her fag from hooking up. She is also there at all times of crisis/joy and is a fag's best friend.

This is not to be confused with a Personal Diva (or fairy princess) who is a fabulous, gorgeous, and will attract scores of gay men at a bar. She's the best shopping/lunch/brunch pal a gay man can have, though her own personal life sometimes interfers with "going out" time with her gay man.

Now we have the Fag Stag. This is a STRAIGHT GUY who is very secure in his own sexuality and realizes that gay men are the most fun creatures to be around on Earth. It also helps that we usually have scads of attractive women around us for him to hook up with (discreetly of course). A Fag Stag will flirt with his fag, pretend to be his boyfriend in times of need (like when the ugly crazy man won't leave you alone at the bar), teach his fag about sports, car motor repair, etc. All the while staying on the other side of that thin, but defined, sexual line. A Fag Stag is the best bud you can have...just please don't fall in love with him. we've all learned our vocab for the day.

I was very very lucky back in Austin to have a great Fag Stag. B had a lake house, ski boat, jet ski, and loved wine as much as I do. I miss him alot. It's great to have a friend you can just be a guy with, and I never really had that growing up. As a kid, knowing I was different, I shyed away from other boys and "boy things" like sports or hunting or anything like that becuase I felt I didn't fit in. As a young adult after coming out, I was so wrapped up in "being gay" that I never wanted to do any of those things. Now, as I'm more mature (ha!) its nice to reclaim some of that "guyness" that I've never had, and bond with another guy without all the sex stuff. B was a great outlet for all that.

But then I moved far way to The City.

Now, I have great friends here. Big GAY great friends and I love them. Since I've moved here though, I've felt like something was missing. I've been chalking it up to homesickness, missing my family, friends, etc. But last night I met a guy, a straight guy, and I realize today that I miss my straight boyz.

So G, you have some big shoes to fill. I hope we have a lot of fun toghther. I hope you take your shirt off a lot as well. ;)


Blogger geolab1701 said...

Hello Kels! Awsome blog, I am flattered and honored to bear the mantle of fag stag! I never knew about fag stags only the fag hags!I am soooo happy to have met you! You so rock!!!

Smootchies baby.

5:57 PM  
Blogger Jimmi said...

I know exactly what you mean. I had a friend like this once too. He admitted that before he met me, he was somewhat homophobic, but changed when he became my friend. That was so flattering. I felt like I had reached someone. He was VERY athletic, and totally my opposite but we really did well as friends. Now he is married, I haven't talked to him in years but I hope he is well and hope that he is someone's FagStag. Its strange how people drift in and out of each others life. I wonder why we came into each others. Was it to teach one of us a lesson? Both of us? I don’t know but the feeling was great to have someone that was MEGA JOCK to accept me as a person no matter what. And it didn’t hurt that he was HOT!

3:27 AM  
Blogger matty said...

I live here and didn't know what a fag stag was. Hmmm..

I do wanna a disco horse, tho.

12:56 PM  
Anonymous scottk said...

Fag stags are also great when you need things done around your house that you can't/don't know how to do. As long as you feed them a good meal and supply plenty of beer !! We had one but he moved back to the mainland.:(

4:57 PM  
Blogger JR said...

I need one of those! I left my dozen high school mal straight friends in Colorado and have to get one for here. I aodr you all but your right, we need a hetro here and there. In all honesty Chox seems a bit like one, but isnt. He seems a lot like my old straight friends. Now I have a new project. Thank you for the post and gettinmg me thinking about it.

12:22 AM  
Blogger Young Thos. said...

I agree entirely on the need for a Fag Stag - I have one myself and it makes a world of difference. Good to hear you're finding one again. :)

6:23 AM  
Blogger Chox said...

You said you love him. Well if you love him so much you should marry him. /pee wee moment

2:49 PM  
Anonymous Stash said...

Fag hag, check.
Personal diva, check.
Nope, can't say I have a fag least not in New York.

Give me time though. ;)

12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh geez, I live with a fag stag. He doesn't preferentially go to gay bars but he's been to a few drag shows, etc. He's not like my bed bud or anything but he's pretty cool about shit - and has no idea how hot he is. Plenty of frank and interesting conversations though.

6:53 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

And I had left a comment on here with love from Calgary - but I guess because I'm so stupid and out of touch, it never showed up. Funny one name in this line up of comments is my middle name....

1:22 PM  
Blogger ThePRGayBoys said...

Very funny post and blog. We loves it.

6:29 PM  
Anonymous BID said...

Can you tell me why it seems so unfair that gay boys are sooo much more atractive than straight ones? Usually. My hubby is a hottie, but, I love him so that means I have to think he's a hottie. It seems like the biggest tease ever! Am I right or am I right?

1:54 PM  
Blogger Kelicious said...

Hotness is all relative. I know PLENTY of uber hot totally straight men. I think its' the desire of what we can't have that you are refering too.

2:28 PM  
Anonymous Tony (LT) said...

You need a stag fag instead of fag stag. Maybe a nice big sturdy working man, mountain boy type to pal around with...who also happens to be gay.

3:49 PM  

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