Tuesday, August 22, 2006

"BITCH BACK OFF MY CAB OR I WILL KNOCK YOU OUT..

WITH A CAN OF GREEN BEANS!!!"

People in this city can be so rude.

I really wouldn't share this story except that quinessential San Franciscan Chad Fox wan't to prove he isn't the only big bitch in town and tagged me to post this story.

Soooo - Last Friday night I had dinner with DanNation at this amazing resturauntCoco500 right around the corner from my office. We had a fabulous dinner, and champagne, and by the time we were done it was a little late to catch the Muni (subway) becuase, you know, SF has to be an annoying cunt like that and not run the frigging subway after 9:35 on a weekday.

Sooo - I bid Dan goodnight and walked around the corner to the Cal-tran station to catch a cab, where several were waiting in the Que (that's a fancy work for Line, y'all.) Well, since I had to spend money on a cab ride anyway, I decided to trot on over to the Safeway and pick up some groceries - escpecially the heavy can goods I needed - and THEN take a cab home.

Big Mistake.

The Giant's Game let out while I was shopping.

As I came out of the grocery store I was engulfed in a SEA of people all looking for a way home. And All of them were heading towards the Taxi Stand!

So I went over and took my place in line.

And waited.

And waited.

And the bags got heavier as I waited and waited.

And finally it was my turn to get a cab.

And I waited some more..

And then SALVATION a Yellow Cab Pulled up...

and then this BITCH with her kids tried to steal my cab!

HELLS NO!

I ran over and grabbed the door and proceded to tell her (loudly) that in Kindergarten we all learned that you wait your turn in line and you don't cut in line and especially when someone has been waiting for 30 min ahead of you.

Her response was that I wasn't really in a line and it was all fair game.

Which is when I lost all sence of southern decorum and started swinging my bag of cans and Screamed...

""BITCH BACK OFF MY CAB OR I WILL KNOCK YOU OUT WITH MY GREEN BEANS!! IT IS LATE! I AM TIRED! AND YOU BETTER STEP AWAY AND GET YOUR ASS IN LINE LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!"

at which point the line behind me burst into applause...

ok..only one lady clapped but it still felt good.

13 Comments:

Blogger Kelly said...

I feel a blog name change coming... who threw that can a beans at me...

8:23 PM  
Blogger JR said...

You know I am clapping. I love it when Julia goes off. You go get em' girl!

9:33 PM  
Blogger Pookie Pie said...

God I love you.

10:39 PM  
Anonymous Tony (LT) said...

Ummm...it's "queue" Mr. Fancy. ;-)

3:07 AM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Good for you Kelly. Sometimes you just have to tell those motherfuckers off. They think that the world revolves around them and try to make some lame ass excuse. Now did she get in line?

8:20 AM  
Blogger the doc said...

Glad you did not have fresh fruits and vegetables. Would not do to bruise them, even for a cab.

9:14 AM  
Blogger Richard said...

What a wonderful story. I think that you are the biggest bitch in town. It's too bad you didn't have a can of spam in there (only for being able to yell out "with my can of spam").

Luvya

12:21 PM  
Anonymous geek said...

LOL. Go get 'em.

=geek

4:52 PM  
Blogger DanNation said...

god...this is why i love you

7:14 PM  
Blogger David said...

Brass ones.

2:55 PM  
Blogger Kalvin said...

OMG I LOVE THIS STORY! You are such a bitch. I heart you.

6:59 PM  
Blogger Moby said...

gurl, I laughed so hard my weave is crooked.

7:34 PM  
Blogger Jimmi said...

Ohhhhhhkaaayyyyy!! [head rolling side to side] Go on gurl!

2:12 AM  

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