2nd inning, 2 base hit, 1 strike, 1 home run
Ok, I've escaped the attic. Send Help now!
Just kidding, well, sort of.
So last night I went to my grandparent's house to break the big news to the family. Ever see My Big Fat Greek Wedding?
Yeah, that's my Mom's family, only mostly Irish Catholic and WAAAYYY more guilt. Anyway, my mother, I, my grandmother and other various aunts and uncles were playing Canasta; and my team was kicking ass. (Oh, by the way, I am a VERY competitive card player, and my family is all the same. We cheat, lie, bluff, pray, use mind games, etc, ANYTHING to win at cards.) So just at a crucial moment in the game when the other team was about to make a move, I throw out that I'm picking up and moving to San Francisco in a few weeks, and this is my big good-bye.
Ha! Classic, it worked! They lost concentration and my team won! No, we kicked their ass. Oh yeah!
Oh wait, this isn't about Canasta.
My Grandmother has this look of surprise on her face, and says "Wonderful, Honey!" My aunts and uncles are all "That's great! Way to go! Thank god, you can't beat us at cards any more!" 2 base hit
Then they all turn to my Mom. My Mom...the drama queen... sitting there in silence, with a facial expression like someone just shit in her Jello Salad.
A lone tear sliding down her cheek, eyes red and watering, lips starting to tremble, her cracked voice saying "He's doing this to get away from me." And everyone looks at me like I just broke her heart on purpose. Strike 2!
Well... I wasn't having it. So I said "Stop trying to make this all about you." At which point, she jumped up from the table and locked herself in the bathroom. So yes, I was the bad guy. The one who made her cry, who hurt her feelings and made her run away. Ugh.
Long story short, I got her back to the table, we whupped ass at cards again and then came home...for the discussion.
So we talk, and she cries, and we talk and she cries, and she feels like I'm running away from her, and I'm never going to come home and she's losing her baby, and she hates it and blah blah blah. I finally remind her that she does have another son, my brother (the asshole), who has moved all over and never comes home and never deals with any of this crap and WHY dear GOD WHY doesn't she give him HALF the guilt she gives me and emotions were high and we were YELLING AND CRYING AND TALKING REALLY FAST!!!!!!
And then she said something, which I previously posted, but can't becuase it's just too personal. Let's just say, she really said something that really hit me in my heart.
So for one moment, I actually faltered and almost said "Ok mommy, I'm coming home and moving back in now." No, seriously, I really almost did.
Then I snapped back to reality and told her "I love you too. And, no matter where I go, I'll always be your baby."
My Mother is an excellent card player. She always knows when to hold her Trump card until she needs it the most.
Just kidding, well, sort of.
So last night I went to my grandparent's house to break the big news to the family. Ever see My Big Fat Greek Wedding?
Yeah, that's my Mom's family, only mostly Irish Catholic and WAAAYYY more guilt. Anyway, my mother, I, my grandmother and other various aunts and uncles were playing Canasta; and my team was kicking ass. (Oh, by the way, I am a VERY competitive card player, and my family is all the same. We cheat, lie, bluff, pray, use mind games, etc, ANYTHING to win at cards.) So just at a crucial moment in the game when the other team was about to make a move, I throw out that I'm picking up and moving to San Francisco in a few weeks, and this is my big good-bye.
Ha! Classic, it worked! They lost concentration and my team won! No, we kicked their ass. Oh yeah!
Oh wait, this isn't about Canasta.
My Grandmother has this look of surprise on her face, and says "Wonderful, Honey!" My aunts and uncles are all "That's great! Way to go! Thank god, you can't beat us at cards any more!" 2 base hit
Then they all turn to my Mom. My Mom...the drama queen... sitting there in silence, with a facial expression like someone just shit in her Jello Salad.
A lone tear sliding down her cheek, eyes red and watering, lips starting to tremble, her cracked voice saying "He's doing this to get away from me." And everyone looks at me like I just broke her heart on purpose. Strike 2!Well... I wasn't having it. So I said "Stop trying to make this all about you." At which point, she jumped up from the table and locked herself in the bathroom. So yes, I was the bad guy. The one who made her cry, who hurt her feelings and made her run away. Ugh.
Long story short, I got her back to the table, we whupped ass at cards again and then came home...for the discussion.
So we talk, and she cries, and we talk and she cries, and she feels like I'm running away from her, and I'm never going to come home and she's losing her baby, and she hates it and blah blah blah. I finally remind her that she does have another son, my brother (the asshole), who has moved all over and never comes home and never deals with any of this crap and WHY dear GOD WHY doesn't she give him HALF the guilt she gives me and emotions were high and we were YELLING AND CRYING AND TALKING REALLY FAST!!!!!!
And then she said something, which I previously posted, but can't becuase it's just too personal. Let's just say, she really said something that really hit me in my heart.
So for one moment, I actually faltered and almost said "Ok mommy, I'm coming home and moving back in now." No, seriously, I really almost did.
Then I snapped back to reality and told her "I love you too. And, no matter where I go, I'll always be your baby."
My Mother is an excellent card player. She always knows when to hold her Trump card until she needs it the most.
posted by Kelicious at 3:13 PM
11 Comments:
Well, it sounds like things did not go too bad...and remind me, never to play cards with you...glad you are back home...
Your mom and my mom are very similar, except mine uses different tactics. She knows raising her voice will result in me simply getting up and walking away from her until she lowers her voice, and trying to grab at me will result in me simply leaving the house for a few days. But being the shrewd, Polish/Irish/Chicagoan/Roman Catholic she is, she still has a bunch of tricks up her sleeve.
My mom also no longer uses the "storming out of the room and locking herself in a room" tactic. My sisters and I just laugh at her when she does that now, she instead she uses her famous "jaw jut" and "extended monologue in a grave tone of voice" tactics.
I will say, however, that she rarely has to resort to such tactics anymore, as I think I have finally succeeded in completely dragging her, kicking and screaming, into adulthood.
Now if only I could do the same thing with myself.
Yeah. I may have mentioned before, mine didn't speak to me for weeks when I told her I was moving to Florida. I'm sickened at the thought of the guilt trips she's used on me in the past. By trying to keep me closer, she's pushed me farther away.
My mother did something similar when I announced I was moving to California this summer. "You're just running away from something," is what she said. Of course, she also gave me grief a couple of years ago when I decided to stay at my job I was unhappy at in Austin and didn't pursue my dreams. Make up your mind, Mom! Parents will try to protect you, but usually it just makes lame kids who can't take care of themselves. Sounds like you're taking care of yourself, kiddo.
Glad you stuck to your guns, sweets. I always hate it when parents use that "pack your bags, darling" tactic... guilt trips just aren't fun.
Yeah... my mom's like that too except it's Filipino Catholic guilt, heavy on the guilt, although she's lightened up since being here in the states. We'll get mad, won't talk for a few hours and then go shopping because it's the thing to do when making up.
She's so scared I won't be the same if I ever moved out of Texas and sends threats of disowning me.
Dad doesn't care... that's what he says, "I don't care" or he shrugs.
I had the same situation when I moved to san jose after being raised in bama, but that was just a launching pad after sj I was in portland,Or and now live in Maui .........in short look out world your cuttin loose!!!!!
Just discovered your blog after hearing you on Darin's PodCast! Looks like you are just getting started! WELCOME to the world of blogging!
I'm like Jeff; my parents have always been supportive. Of course, for the last eight years I've lived within five miles of my parents, so that may be part of it. I'm not really sure how they'd react if I, say, moved to New York.
BTW, Kel, I just listened to the APNH podcast and I have to concur on one point: your accent is hot. Don't lose it when you move to SF.
It must be hard to be a mother.
My mom says things to my sister-in-law knowing that eventually she will relay the guilt laden statements to me. I don't get it.
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