Thursday, February 16, 2006

Butch Points

I just got my oil changed at lunch. I have this overwhelming sense of accomplishment because I have completed a task, nay a Goal, that I have been putting off for three months. Oil Change = 3 butch pts.

I am a very independent and self reliant person. However, there are certain things that I put off forever. Anything having to do with my car makes up most of the list. Taxes are another, and so is anything having to do with repairing a major appliance. Now I don't actually DO any of these things, but even talking with the professionals that do do (hehe) these things makes me nervous.

I don't know if it's because I was spoiled as a child, or because deep down inside the Clay-Aiken-esq fairy in me screams "You're are so GAY you can't possible be competent enough any of these things". Who knows.

So my dear friend and old roommate Regina, came up with a system. I complete a task, I get butch points. I get enough butch points, I get to do fun things like shop at home depot, or go to a chili cook off, or go to a straight country bar. It works great! Plus, whenever I get to use my points, I call her and tell her something like "I went to Home Depot and bought a cordless drill!" and she'll say "Wow, that costs you 7 butch points." Of course, I bought the drill to hang the decorative curtain rod I bought at Pottery Barn, but who cares?

Once she took me to this bar in the suburbs. I went to the bathroom and this HUGE FAT man peeing screamed "Man there sure is a shit-load of pussy I'm gonna bang tonight!!"

That used up all my butch points for a year!!!

Tex here says, "Reading Who Threw That Ham at Me gives you 100 Butch Points!"


Blogger Kevin said...

And I'd like to give both him (in the pic) and you just ONE butch point.

But it's a doozy.

1:58 PM  
Blogger DanNation said...

Did I get butch points for going to the Pabst Blue Ribbon Prom Queen contest at the local country bar the other night?

2:15 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

I must have lots of butch points then. I change my own oil, shop at Home Depot all the time, do home renovations ( just like Ty Pennington) take apart appliances, refurbish them, put them back together. I can name all the different types of screwdrivers ( not the drink), repair things around the house/car. My next project when I get back is installing a new kitchen sink and faucet. Then I have some new baseboards to put on in the main bathroom. Plus I'll have to take the grip tires off my car and put back on the summer ones as I am selling it. That means getting the floor jack out, jacking up the car and using the impact gun to take off the lug nuts. While I'm at it, I'm going to inspect the brake pads and rotors.

So Kel, how many butch points would I get, besides the 100 for reading your blog? And where can I cash them in?

2:20 PM  
Blogger Kelicious said...

Jeff - You have so many you have to back to Vag.

2:29 PM  
Blogger Jason M said...

I personally think that simply remembering that you need to change your oil should earn you at least a .5 butch point. I've blown up 2 engines.

4:45 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

My BF works for Home Depot (upper mgt.) I get points for that??

8:22 PM  

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