Butch Points
I just got my oil changed at lunch. I have this overwhelming sense of accomplishment because I have completed a task, nay a Goal, that I have been putting off for three months. Oil Change = 3 butch pts.
I am a very independent and self reliant person. However, there are certain things that I put off forever. Anything having to do with my car makes up most of the list. Taxes are another, and so is anything having to do with repairing a major appliance. Now I don't actually DO any of these things, but even talking with the professionals that do do (hehe) these things makes me nervous.
I don't know if it's because I was spoiled as a child, or because deep down inside the Clay-Aiken-esq fairy in me screams "You're are so GAY you can't possible be competent enough any of these things". Who knows.
So my dear friend and old roommate Regina, came up with a system. I complete a task, I get butch points. I get enough butch points, I get to do fun things like shop at home depot, or go to a chili cook off, or go to a straight country bar. It works great! Plus, whenever I get to use my points, I call her and tell her something like "I went to Home Depot and bought a cordless drill!" and she'll say "Wow, that costs you 7 butch points." Of course, I bought the drill to hang the decorative curtain rod I bought at Pottery Barn, but who cares?
Once she took me to this bar in the suburbs. I went to the bathroom and this HUGE FAT man peeing screamed "Man there sure is a shit-load of pussy I'm gonna bang tonight!!"
That used up all my butch points for a year!!!
Tex here says, "Reading Who Threw That Ham at Me gives you 100 Butch Points!"
I am a very independent and self reliant person. However, there are certain things that I put off forever. Anything having to do with my car makes up most of the list. Taxes are another, and so is anything having to do with repairing a major appliance. Now I don't actually DO any of these things, but even talking with the professionals that do do (hehe) these things makes me nervous.
I don't know if it's because I was spoiled as a child, or because deep down inside the Clay-Aiken-esq fairy in me screams "You're are so GAY you can't possible be competent enough any of these things". Who knows.
So my dear friend and old roommate Regina, came up with a system. I complete a task, I get butch points. I get enough butch points, I get to do fun things like shop at home depot, or go to a chili cook off, or go to a straight country bar. It works great! Plus, whenever I get to use my points, I call her and tell her something like "I went to Home Depot and bought a cordless drill!" and she'll say "Wow, that costs you 7 butch points." Of course, I bought the drill to hang the decorative curtain rod I bought at Pottery Barn, but who cares?
Once she took me to this bar in the suburbs. I went to the bathroom and this HUGE FAT man peeing screamed "Man there sure is a shit-load of pussy I'm gonna bang tonight!!"
That used up all my butch points for a year!!!
Tex here says, "Reading Who Threw That Ham at Me gives you 100 Butch Points!"
posted by Kelicious at 12:39 PM
5 Comments:
And I'd like to give both him (in the pic) and you just ONE butch point.
But it's a doozy.
Did I get butch points for going to the Pabst Blue Ribbon Prom Queen contest at the local country bar the other night?
Jeff - You have so many you have to back to Vag.
I personally think that simply remembering that you need to change your oil should earn you at least a .5 butch point. I've blown up 2 engines.
My BF works for Home Depot (upper mgt.)...do I get points for that??
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