Thursday, June 29, 2006

Dropping some kids off at the pool...

Ok, every good blog has and obligitory poop post and this is mine.

I HATE pooping at work. To me, going to the restroom is a very personal and private thing, and 3 feet of cheap metal stall is just not enough to secure my privacy and comfort level to efficently rid my body of waste.

However, there are times when you just gotta go.

I have no idea what strange food I ingested in my body in the last few days but my body is reacting to something. I have to poop all the time this week! Normally I have a very set schedule, but this week it's all helter skeleter. That and I am producing enough gas to power a hot air balloon. What makes matters worse is that I share an office with a very proper lady, so I feel that I need to hold in all the gas until she leaves the room. The result is a near hydrogen bomb-esq explosion of gas out my rear end.

That or I hold it in until I can run down the hall to the bathroom to let loose in there in case I SHART .

So there you have it, along with the sadness of my bloggers leaving town, the post-pride depression, the stress of work this week, i'm having poop issues.

And what makes it float?


Blogger dpaste said...

I could poop on stage before a live audience.

I was rather gassy all last week, myself. Don't know what it was about but glad it is over.

3:38 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

I...... Can't....... stop....... laughing...... That just happened to me this morning. FUCK! But I don't share my office with anybody. Thank Jebus.

Roughage makes it float. Fruits and veggies baby. ALso helps prevent colon cancer. (Biology 30 - I was paying attention that day. Sometime in 1991.)

3:54 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

And you TOTALLY copied Helter Skelter from my blog today didn't you? Didn't you?? That's it. You and me. Bike racks afterschool. I am SO going to rip your hair out and the tassels on your handle bars...

3:58 PM  
Blogger Richard said...

Ah, the million dollar question ... "what makes it float?" ... I can never have a good poop when I am away ... so I have been having some serious porcelain god time here at the homestead.

10:08 PM  
Blogger Chox said...

Good lord.

11:54 PM  
Blogger Adam said...

There's little pockets of air trapped in your poop from all tha bacteria that are fermenting away all the stuff that your body didn't absorb, thus the floating.

3:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I rarely ever get to poop in my own toilet at home (I have been home for maybe a total of a week in the last 4 months) and when I do it is crazy but it just seems SO much better!

9:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kelicious I was laughing so hard I almost pissed my pants, and not a good seen at work! Check out Jeff's Blog and what I had to say about you coming up. Prepare yourself! What makes it float you have gooooot to be kiding....

9:18 AM  
Blogger JohnInAustinTX said...

It is all about the fiber!!!
Wilford Brimley knows what he is talking about! Head on over to Wal-Mark and buy some fiber pills. They really help keep you from sharting!


11:38 AM  
Blogger Newscoma said...

Oh This is so funny.

8:52 PM  

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