Monday, September 18, 2006

An open letter to General Mils

Dear Person at General Mills who comes up with new Chex Mix Flavors:

Your New Chocolate Chex Mix Turtle flavor is the bomb. Seriously, it's a choco-explosion in my mouth. The sweet "coco puff" reminiscent flavor is mixed with the salty good-ness of carmel and nuts just perfectly, as stated on your bag. You even remind us it has 50% less fat that regular potato chips, but even if it had 50% more fat that regular potato chips I would eat it. It is my new favorite snack.

That being said, I do have one small consumer suggestion. You have to many pretzel rings per bag. Now, i'm all for the occasional pretzel, in your regular flavors the pretzel provides an nice crunch, a hearty breadness and a lightly salted tingle on the tounge. However, in comparison with the rest of the Turtle Mix, the pretzel in teh case falls a little flat- in fact, it just seems to take up space, and one must wonder if you inculded it in such abundance to create a cheap, tastless filler.

In my recently consumed (ie scarfed down) 4.5 oz snack bag of New Chocolate Chex Mix Turtle I counted 31 pretzles. After eating 5, I determined that the pretzel was actually taking away from the salty/carmeley/choco goodness and leaving a bitter aftertaste. Then, while trying to avoid the pretzel, it became not a yummy part of my snack, but a true annoyance. The cute circular shape of your pretzel, while tepmpting some to play as though they are engagement rings or small monocals, actually trap other parts of the snack mix, especially the peanuts and milk chocolate candies. Thus, the non-pretzel eater, such as myself, my painstakingly excract the desierd tid-bit from the nasty pretzel and put back into the bag to aquire the perfect sweet-salty mix so desired, and as claimed by your advertisment on your own bag. I realize some people my be emphatically pro-pretzel, so I suggesst cutting down the number of pretzels per 4.5 bag from an overstated 31 to a more manageable 10 or so and replacin the missing preztels with more carmel popcorn goodness, since that seemed to be lacking much from my bag with only 4 or 5 pieces to enjoy.

I hope this slice of market research will be well recieved, and I look forward to our mutual consumer/eater relationship.


PS. Just so you know the uneaten Circular Pretzel rings did not go to waste, they were turned into excellent projectiles to launch over cublicles in a competing office turf war.


Blogger Pookie Pie said...

Uh.... you said... "the bomb."

I may have to stop contact with you.

9:47 PM  
Blogger JR said...

If they replace the filler pretzels, they are going to have to charge more. Yummy doenst come cheap. Or is that cheap is yummy cum or cum is yummy when it comes form cheap. Oh hell I forget.

10:20 PM  
Blogger Kalvin said...

Why do I always see things like this when I'm trying to be good about what I eat. Now I desperately want to try them. And I doubt that they will take your suggestion because everyone knows that you just like things too sweet down south just like sweet tea.

10:40 PM  
Blogger Jimmi said...

Laughing inside and getting car keys to go to the store and pick up some Chex... :)

11:55 PM  
Blogger matty said...

...doesn't that product cause anal leakage?

I have to stop eating.

I think I've gained 7 pounds over the course of the last 2 months and I can't afford them.

this means no more chocolate explosions in my mouth.

(that came out wrong)

11:32 PM  
Blogger Rian said...

Maybe you can ask your President for an amendment to ban pretzels. He obviously likes amendments, and he definitely had perilous problems with pretzels as well, if I remember correctly.
... and where can I get a bag of Chex? Sounds soooo delicious.

3:39 AM  
Blogger David said...

Yuck with a capital uck.

I've eaten healthy too long. I'm ruined for crap like this.

2:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Even the regular Chex Mix has too many pretzels. I always pick them out because the do take away from the rest of the flavors!

1:38 PM  

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