Thursday, April 20, 2006

I'm here I'm here!!!!

Ok! I swear SF didn't eat me. I'm apartment hunting and working my ass off! Seriously, my cute little butt is wasting away.

My honeymoon with the city is definitely over, and I'm starting to see some of the major problems of San Francisco.

1. The housing costs are RIDICULOUS! It is also close to impossible to have anyone actually show you an apartment. Plus, everything I've looked at is weird because all the apartments here are really chopped up houses. No closets in the bedrooms, but 3 in the hallway; Oh, this lovely bedroom has a built in china cabinet; This lovely 2 bedroom 600 sq ft apartment is perfect for "close" roommates - yeah because it's 2 small rooms and a kitchen!

2. Homeless people here suck. They puke, piss and poop everywhere, sometimes simultaneously. I've taken to carrying around a big can of Lysol (Linen fresh) in my bag with me everywhere I go. Homeless people are held together by germs and grit, so if when they come close I just give them a spray and they run off. It's like holy water to vampires...works great.

3. Pigeons here are just as bad. These are not the cute pigeons we had running around the Univ of Texas. These are jacked up, bird flu and SARS carrying, crack addict pigeons. Seriously, some of them are really messed up, like 2 eyes on one side of the head, missing legs, bald, etc. And they are just as bad as the homeless people about shitting on you.

4. People here whine to much. They whine whine whine but never change what they are whining about. I'm much more of a do-er ...and I'm doing it.

5. Chinese women on the bus ...suck my ass. I have to wade through you every morning, and every day on the way home. MOVE YOUR STANKY ASSES! PLEASE! Little Chinese women have one goal...to be the 1st person on the bus, and to stand in the front. There can be enough room in the back of the bus to haul a grand piano, but they will ALL crowd to the front. The only problem with this is..you have to shove your way through to get to the back, and get their SARS all over you. I think my Lysol my come in handy here too.

All in all I still love the city. I'm looking forward to finally getting a place (maybe today) and settling in. I'll definitely write more then.

XO

Kel

12 Comments:

Blogger StratoCade said...

Hon, you need to be a little more aggressive when you're shoving your ass back there on the bus - and don't asume just because they're silent they don't understand. Those little turtles are quite adept at reading body language - they know what you're saying, whether they speak English or not...

So does your war on pigeons mean I can bring my 12 guage with me next weekend?

5:52 PM  
Anonymous scottk said...

chinese ladies that scream at the top of their lungs would those be the chinese ladies you are talking about?? There were alot of those in San Jose too , one would be at the front one at the back but they would carry on a full blown conversation in Mandarin or whatever they spoke at the TOP OF THEIR LUNGS very annoying

6:14 PM  
Blogger Addison said...

Guess there's no empty places over on Barbary Ln? LOL.

I miss TX too, I'm down in Florida now with my partner, and, although we have white trash like TX, I couldn't get good queso here to save my life. Oh well, time to make some and show these people what they are missing.

6:23 PM  
Blogger Jo said...

i sensed a racist comment there regarding chinese people? hmm...

nice blog.

6:29 PM  
Anonymous Cyn said...

woo hoo!!! you're back!! so... are you current on your shots????

6:43 PM  
Blogger Pope-rah said...

Get back to bloggin! I miss your smart ass!!! Good luck finding a place.

6:45 PM  
Blogger Kevin said...

You know what you need to feel better?

Heh ... I do. ;)

7:32 AM  
Blogger David said...

But the little Chinese women loooooooooove you. Long time.

10:35 AM  
Anonymous JasonM said...

Welcome to SF, the reality. And yet...hate to poo on this love-fest commentary, but your bitches about SF homeless and chinese ladies is racist -- you see THEM as not like US. My Jewish parents always said that this kind of talk was bad because it could wind up coming back on us. As a gay man, at 30 years old, you should totally get it.

2:48 PM  
Blogger God of Biscuits said...

Marie Antoinette-ism: " Homeless people are held together by germs and grit,"

Xenophobia: "And [pidgeons] are just as bad as the homeless people about shitting on you"

Racism:" and [Chinese women on the bus] get their SARS all over you. "


Irony: "People here whine to much. They whine whine whine but never change what they are whining about. I'm much more of a do-er ...and I'm doing it."

"And, if your still going to be all huffy and put off over what I say. I have a real solution for you...Simply stop reading my blog. It's called Free Speach motherfuckers."

It's called a spellchecker, motherfucker.

I'd say welcome to san francisco, but I don't think you're going to do very well here. Welcome, anyway, though. It takes all kinds.

You can be racist and bigoted and insensitve and utterly lack irony and you still have a right to say whatever idiotic things you want to say.

You can also expect people to call you on it. THAT is what free speEch is all about.

2:20 PM  
Blogger God of Biscuits said...

ScottK: in most Chinese dialects, the volume and tone of the pronounciation of the word is just as important as the glyphs that make up the word. In other words, the same word spoken in 3 different volumes could mean three different things.

Learn something before you criticize, or is it just simply enough that you don't like it that it must be wrong?

2:22 PM  
Blogger StratoCade said...

I've always been one to call a spade a spade. In that spirit, I have to say Jeff, God of Biscuits, in your haste to be PC, you got it wrong. Cantonese women have the tendency to be loud. That's just the way it is. It's not their language; they are simply loud.

As a speaker of both Mandarin and Cantonese, I can say with some authority that TONE and not volume imparts different meaning to words. The idea that volume gives meaning is ludicrous on it's face. Have you ever listened to a conversation in Mandarin or Cantonese? Did each conversant vary the volume of their voice with every word? I reckon not.

So I fear it is YOU, God of Biscuits, who need to check your facts before going off on a rant.

Bless Your Heart.

8:19 PM  

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