Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Just a sprinkle a day...

Chris over at Boybriefs shared his grocery list and the 1st item caught my eye. "Shower soap - something that smells manly and reeks of testosterone."

Now..we all know the gays love their foo-foo (or is it Feu-Feu Tony?) smelly stuff. I share ONE bathroom with THREE other boys and there is a wider range of bath products in my shower than there is at The Body Shop. We have Dove Body Wash, Softsoap (for our manly not so gay roommate), Kheil's Grapefruit Body Wash, Two types of peppermint wash and plain old Aveeno (mine, the sensitive skin guhrl.) Oh, and a bar of irish spring for the roomate who wants to feel more manly than he really is.

I also have a friend that I know who likes to be papmered with manicures and pedicure and facials..yet keeps a bottle of Old Spice Sport Wash in his shower...for the butch effect.


So, boys and girls...what's in your shower?

Monday, August 28, 2006

Lessons we all learned this weekend:

1. Best friends should be entrusted with a spare set of your keys, not flakey roomates who won't come resuce you (and your hound) when you get locked out of your condo.

2. Always coordinate with other gay guests as to what they are bringing to a party - while one can never have enough wine..one can have to much Pâté.

3. Straight girls should be forwarned about the mandatory "shirtless" rule at gay game night.

4. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas...What happens on gay game night ends up on EVERYONES blog/podcast/videocast in a matter of hours.

5. Sometimes guys that you spend the whole day with and have a wonderful time with never- call - again.

6. Sometimes guys that you randomly meet and share a drink with suprise you..in a big, big way.

7. Sometimes they suprise you again the next morning..

8. and again 20 min later.

9. Spending a whole day on the couch watching TiVo and eating pizza is good for the soul.

10. The Emmy's needs to hire better writers.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Ahh the miracles of modern medicine

Soo...about 2 months I caught a little bug in my digestive tract...an ameoba to be specific and after much waiting and many many tests, I finally got the results back and have started taking my new super-duper anti-bug medicine that is supposed to knock it out in 5 days.

And turn my pee BRIGHT NEON YELLOW. Seriously, it's like Vegas show everytime I go to the urinal now.

If I peed on your head, this is what it would look like.

Another fun fact: "This medicine is used to treat cramping and diarrhea cuased by certain types of parasites....Sides effects may include: cramping and diarrhea."


Ps. I'm feeling much better. Gotta go though, another show is about to start.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

New Peeps

I've added a few more bloggers to my blog roll..you guys are dirty!


Tuesday, August 22, 2006



People in this city can be so rude.

I really wouldn't share this story except that quinessential San Franciscan Chad Fox wan't to prove he isn't the only big bitch in town and tagged me to post this story.

Soooo - Last Friday night I had dinner with DanNation at this amazing resturauntCoco500 right around the corner from my office. We had a fabulous dinner, and champagne, and by the time we were done it was a little late to catch the Muni (subway) becuase, you know, SF has to be an annoying cunt like that and not run the frigging subway after 9:35 on a weekday.

Sooo - I bid Dan goodnight and walked around the corner to the Cal-tran station to catch a cab, where several were waiting in the Que (that's a fancy work for Line, y'all.) Well, since I had to spend money on a cab ride anyway, I decided to trot on over to the Safeway and pick up some groceries - escpecially the heavy can goods I needed - and THEN take a cab home.

Big Mistake.

The Giant's Game let out while I was shopping.

As I came out of the grocery store I was engulfed in a SEA of people all looking for a way home. And All of them were heading towards the Taxi Stand!

So I went over and took my place in line.

And waited.

And waited.

And the bags got heavier as I waited and waited.

And finally it was my turn to get a cab.

And I waited some more..

And then SALVATION a Yellow Cab Pulled up...

and then this BITCH with her kids tried to steal my cab!


I ran over and grabbed the door and proceded to tell her (loudly) that in Kindergarten we all learned that you wait your turn in line and you don't cut in line and especially when someone has been waiting for 30 min ahead of you.

Her response was that I wasn't really in a line and it was all fair game.

Which is when I lost all sence of southern decorum and started swinging my bag of cans and Screamed...


at which point the line behind me burst into applause...

ok..only one lady clapped but it still felt good.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Who threw that Book at Me

Waffles , Jeff , and Dan of the new and improved Dan-Nation had this MEME up. Rather than fill you all in on my crazy week, I'll just lend you insight to my mind with this:

1. One book you have read more than once:
Half Magic by Edgar Eager c. 1954 - As a child I would ready anything I could get my hands on, I'm still like that today. I found this book in an old box of stuff my brother left behind, and I fell in love with the story. Four small children find a talisman that only grant half-wishes. This story never fails to charm me and take me away into their world and imagination. Even though it's a children's story, I still read it every once in a while today.

2. One book you would want on a desert island:
Colony - Anne Rivers Siddons c. 1992 - A co-worker gave me this to read at the beach and I was lost in it for weeks. Its a great "light" read about a southern woman who falls in love and marries a yankee and spends all her subsiquent summers at the familes Maine enclave. It's a book I read over and over and never get bored with the story.

3. One book that made you laugh:
The Sweet Potato Queens Book of Love - Jill Conner Browne c.1999 - This book will make you laugh out loud. If you are not from the South, it will give you great understanding of why we are all a little crazy down there, and if you are from the South, it will give you fond memories of your favorite Aunt/Niece/Cousin/Mother, etc. Great recipies are hidden throughout the stories, as well as the secret on how to get a man to do whatever you want with "the promise".

4. One book that made you cry:
Ok, I admit it, I cried reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. I'm a big baby.

5. One book you wish you had written:
Angry Housewives Eating Bon-Bons by Lorna Ladvik. A tale of 4 Minnesotian Housewives surving the 60's, 70's, 80's and 90's. I love their unity, and how they grow as characters throughout the years. I love Ladvik's style of story development, I wish I could write like that.

6. One book you wish had never been written:
It - by Stephen King. I can't watch clowns and I can't cross a bridge on foot without worrying that a balloon is going to come floating out from under it..which actually did happen to me once.

7. One book you are currently reading:
A Prayer For Owen Meany- John Irving. This is the first John Irving novel I've read and I can't wait to read his others. You have to get so involved in his stories. I've had to go back and re-read paragraphs to make sure I didn't miss anything. I can't wait to get to the end so i can start over at the beginning.

8. One book you have been meaning to read:
Everything at Borders.

9. One Book That Changed Your Life:
As corny as this sounds, "Queen of the Damned" and "The Vampire Lestat" both by Anne Rice really did change my life. Underneath the homo-erotic vampire tales of love is a big challenge to the Catholic Church. I read these novels when I was 15 to 16 years old, and was greatly influenced by them. Reading them let me to my own way of thinking, and helped me accept that I was gay, and let me to break away from the Church that I was so ingrained in. I actually got to thank Anne Rice in person for that, it was a great moment.

10. Tag - I'm tagging Incognito Eye Que and Smaller than Selma b/c they need to write more!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

yeah i'm here

Sorry for not writing..I've been under the weather for a few days now, and just feeling BLAH lately.

I had a great weekend. My friend's parents were in town and they invited me along to take a limo tour Sonoma and hit a few vineyards on Sunday. Was a blast and I was introduced to some excellet wines.

Tonight, I'm going hunting...husband hunting. There is a mixer of single, gay , Ivy League Alummni tonight, and I'm sneaking in...guess I'll have to say I went to Cornell. Wish me luck!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

I'm soooo great!

Um...however had the popularity dialer call me and give me affirmation...thanks. I do look great, and my hair is looking good, and you know what, my clothes do have style.

Thank you for that.



Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Tag you're it.

Large Tony , the sexiste MF blogger in town is revitalizing the MEME.. see my answers below. AND I TAG everyone on my blog roll!

1. How tall are you barefoot? 6'

2. Have you ever been cheated on? Yes. My boyfriend of 8 months, who I was in process of moving in with, emailed me and told me he had been dating a woman behind my back and was going to marry her! I'm not admitting to jumping in my car, driving to his house, driving up onto his front lawn and trying to run him over...but I'm not saying I didn't do it either.

2. Do you own a gun? No, if I did have a gun I would've shot the SOB.

3. If you had a mental disorder, what would it be? I already have one, I work in radio.

4. How many letters are in your crushes name? Ha, which one? Actually its 14.

5. What do you think of hot dogs? They should only be consumed at ball parks or in NYC.

5. What’s your favorite Christmas song? Merry Christmas from the Family by Robert Earl Keen

6. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Mimosa

7. Do you do push-ups? only before I go to the beach.

8. Have you ever done ecstasy? Mabey. I spent $25.00 for a pill that did nothing but make me hot and pissed off.

8. Do you have a boyfriend? Not at the moment.

9. Do you like the rain? Love it. I miss Texas Thunderstorms.

10. Do you own a knife? A Wusthoff Chef's knife that can cut through bone.

11. What do you smell like? Gain Laundry detergent and boy.

12. Do you have A.D.D.?who? what? huh?

13. Full initials? KAAV - and only a few people know my real middle name.

14. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment:
A - I have to go to the bathroom
B - I'm really sick of this job
C - I'm ready for drinks with Dan .

15. Name the last 3 things you have bought today. Ha. Meatloaf, salad, and a Dr. Pepper.

16. Name five drinks you regularly drink. Water, Red Wine, Vodka, Coke, and Red bull

17. What time did you wake up today? 7:25 am..and then snoozed until 8:05 AM

18. Can you spell? You know, I actually won spelling contests in elementary school, I think college took that out of me. I can't spell for shit anymore.

19. Current worry? Ugh - money - constantly.

20. Current hate? A current co-worker of mine. She has tried 6 times in the last week to get me in trouble. Fortunetly, I cover my ass and she's been in the wrong ever time.

21. Favorite place to be? The Beach - and I'm missing it right now. Sorry Doc!

22. Least favorite place to be? Waiting at the airport

23. Where would you want to go? Phoenix AZ

24. Do you own slippers? No, i have flip flops though

25. Where do you think you’ll be in 10 years? Austin Texas

26. Do you burn or tan? Burn then fad to Tan

27.Yellow or Blue? Blue.

28. Would you give up your current life to be a pirate? Only if Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom were in charge.

29. Last time your cell rang? Yesterday at 3pm

30. What songs do you sing in the shower? HA! Random Crap - yesterday it was Holla back girl - this morning it was fly me to the moon.

31. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? Alternated between bloody killer frogs and gremlins.

32. What do you have in your pocket right now? 2 business cards, house key, berts beeswax and a grocery list.

33. Last thing that made you laugh? GRIN! Hearing a recording of CHOX singing karaokee and then doing a dramating reading from "Stud Highway" on his iPod.

34.Favorite bed sheets as a child? Justice League, and I had the wallpaper to match.

35.Worst injury you’ve ever had? When I was about 7 or so there was a giant wheel that we used for the cake walks at our church picnics. A bunch of us were spinning it as fast as we could and it fell over and hit me in the face. One of the nails almost took my right eye out, the rest left huge scraps on my face.

36. What is your GPA? In high school? 3.1 in college? never mind.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house? 2 right now, I need one for my room

38.Who is your loudest friend? ALL OF THEM! Seriously we are very loud people.

39. Who is your most silent friend? My BFF4ever Julie.

40. Does someone have a crush on you? ugh, yes, and he wears a toupee.

41. Do you wish on stars? Absolutly.

42. Do you believe in magic? hmm.. if hogwarts was real, i'd already be there.

43. What song represents how you feel at the moment? umm.. Come Back to Texas (ohio)by bowling for soup

44. What song did you last hear? Raise your Hands - bon jovi

45. What song do you want played at your funeral? wow- i'll have to think about that one.

46. What were you doing 12AM last night? Dreaming about my hot co-worker.

47. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? I have to poop!

Ok - Your Turn! PS. I've updated my blog roll a little..2 new peeps.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Quitters never win

Seems that SEVERAL of my blogger friends are quitting their blogs for one lame reason or another. While others in the internet community are posting well wishing comments of empathy and understanding, I will not encourage this utter selfish act of laziness and self pity.

Get off your asses and write something fun. I need to be entertained!

Love you all, don't do it.


Friday, August 04, 2006

Las Vegas Pictures

Ok, I promised them, and here they are..a few pictures for your enjoyment.

Me at Paris.

The only way to travel...by Helicopter

View of the strip and Ceaser's

The Strip again..includeing Luxor...which I hear is VERY cruisy.

Downtown..the Fairmont Tunnel

Finally we head out of the city and towards the Grand Canyon.

Here we have Hoover Dam

and another view

and finally down to the Grand Canyon itself

and a final shot.

Thank so Much Jason M ... what you said is right!
"Money is Like Manure..it should be spread around." - Brooke Astor

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

I should've known...

While waiting for my friends to SEND ME THE VEGAS PICTURES so I can post them..I thought this would be fun to do:

JR over at Memoirs of a Gay-chia had this fun little Meme. He want everyone to give 10 reasons why they should've known they were gay growing up. Sorry JR, but you and I are going to share some of them.

I should've known I was gay as a kid growing up becuase:

1. Dress up. I loved to play dress up - I was basically a 5 year old drag queen. I remember watching Crystal Gayle on the TV (antenna,not cable) and thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. I would run around the house with a brown blanket on my head and blue eyeshadow on singing "The sound of Good-bye" very very Brother Boy . Another one of my favorite "outfits" was my female spy outfit. I would don one of my mother's wigs from the 60's, put on all her costume jewlery,grab a clutch bag and put my pop-gun in it. We had a large open living room - aka my ball room. I'd pretend to leave the ball and go hunting for my micro film or whatever secret maps I had to steal from the safe.

2. I threw the biggest hissy fit a child ever threw when my Momma wouldn't buy me a My Little Pony at Winn's 5 and 10. She finally conceded and bought me "Rainbow" a white pony with a purple mane and a rainbow brand...she smelled like baby powder. I kept her in my brother's old GI Joe footlocker I had been handed down.

3. Even though I was in no way athletic, or even liked sports, my parents signed me up for T-ball when I was 6. My last name made me last on the roster and I got to sit next to Dawn Hovey, the first girl ever to be allowed to play T-ball. She had to sit last becuase she was a girl. We became fast friends and rather than learn how to pitch, catch a ball, or throw...I learned all the Browine Songs - and still can sing them to this day.

4. I was, and still am, my Mother's interior decorator, professional picture hanger, stylist, wardrobe consultant, personal shopper, massuse, and ettiqute consultant. I stated this job when I was 4 and told her I thought the heavy Spanish Style furniture in our livign room was "Out" and convinced her to replace the bull fighter velvet hangings and repaint the house southwestern. Like JR, I would rearrage the rooms in the house every so often to keep things interesting.

5. When my friends and I played make-belive, I was always a girl. In Justice League - I was Wonder Woman, with my gold jump rope and tennis bands. In Cowboys and Indians, I was Pocahontus, keeping the Teepee and serving up beef jerky. If we built a fort, or treehouse- I alwasy insisted we put in a kitchen and fireplace- how were we supposed to entertain if we didn't have one?

6. I planned, directed and performed my own musical review - to all my stuffed animals. When I was about 6 my cousin gave me her old record player. It was in a white and orange plastic case and I could keep it in my room. I had this old Walt Disney Record with alot of the songs from the 60's era movies on it like Supercalifragiclisticexpialidocious and The Jungle Book. My favorite though, was this very torch song version of Bibbity Bobbity Boo. I would line up my animals like at a Caberet (it had been on HBO when we finally got cable!)and sing along with the record...of course making costume changes inbetween songs...the show ran for years.

7. My Great Aunt who lived across the street owned a jewlery store that she ran out of part of her house. I have several custom pieces of silver, turquoise and coral jewlery that I asked her for..unfortunetly the rings and necklaces are all in child's sizes as I had asked for them between the ages of 6 and 10.

8. When I got old enough for He-Man and She-ra "action figures"..my He-man boy dolls always lived in the castle together and slept in the same beds. As did my castle system lego men.

9. I always would rather play with my girl friends than my boy friends. My favorite play mates were the Kuzinarek sisters. We would play barbie (they would MAKE me be Ken) and play house, or wedding. Once they let me be the bride. We would also dress up in their mothers dresses and high heels and have fashion parades...something that their Mother proudly remembered at The oldest girl's wedding a few years ago.."And this is J's childhood friend Kelly" as she introduced me to some of her friends "He used to run around in my high heels."

10. I was in love with my Mom's best friend's son. When I was 4 or 5 my mom would let her best friend's son, Greg, babysit me...I think he was about 16. He was tall, had long blond hair, and was very very athletic, and never wore a shirt..ever. I thought he was beautiful..I wanted to grow up and marry him. Sigh..the one that got away.

Thank's JR, for a fun challenge :) How did we never not know?