Thursday, June 29, 2006

I'm Julia Sugarbaker...Suzanne Sugarbaker's sister.

Thank you so much JR for this description of totally made my day.

"Oh and last thing… if Kel sounded like he is Julia Sugarbaker in Designing women then yes that is EXACTLY what I meant (sorry Kel I know I was supposed to make up for the last description of you). HOWEVER, let us not forget, although she went off, chewed people’s behinds, and had a thick skin, underneath that was this loving, supportive, driven woman who really believed in doing the right thing and wouldn’t accept anything less. This is what I meant Kel, not that you’re a bitchy Southern pain in the rear Belle, but that you are a bitchy Southern Belle with social graces and heart bigger than Texas"

And here I alwasy thought I was more like Suzanne.

Dropping some kids off at the pool...

Ok, every good blog has and obligitory poop post and this is mine.

I HATE pooping at work. To me, going to the restroom is a very personal and private thing, and 3 feet of cheap metal stall is just not enough to secure my privacy and comfort level to efficently rid my body of waste.

However, there are times when you just gotta go.

I have no idea what strange food I ingested in my body in the last few days but my body is reacting to something. I have to poop all the time this week! Normally I have a very set schedule, but this week it's all helter skeleter. That and I am producing enough gas to power a hot air balloon. What makes matters worse is that I share an office with a very proper lady, so I feel that I need to hold in all the gas until she leaves the room. The result is a near hydrogen bomb-esq explosion of gas out my rear end.

That or I hold it in until I can run down the hall to the bathroom to let loose in there in case I SHART .

So there you have it, along with the sadness of my bloggers leaving town, the post-pride depression, the stress of work this week, i'm having poop issues.

And what makes it float?

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Update on an Update

Ok, I've finally...finally updated by blog roll over on the side bar. (Kalvin, you can STOP being a whiney ex-mormon anytime now.) If you don't know these guys, take a min and read them. All are work safe - except for The Great Cock Hunt, which is just very very hot stories, but not for work.

On another note - I've run into the Hickey Boy several times this weekend, and so did most of my blog visitors. Yes, he is incrediably hot. Yes, he is incrediably butch. But no, I'm not going to pursue him. He's 24, just a toe out of the closest, and new to town. All that equals non-dating material (I will however, fool around with him.) So eh, you slep with one A&F Model, you sleep with them all.



And you, and you and you

are gonna love meeeee.....

Thanks J.R. for the awesome pictures from PRIDE!

(PS. if you are straight and don't get the reference, or gay and have been living in a cave, the song is from DreamGirls...or you can watch CAMP and hear a good rendition of it.)

Monday, June 26, 2006

Bloggers and Tigers and PRIDE OH MY!

This weekend was Gay Pride here in San Francisco. More importantly, it was Gay Pride Blogger weekend it seemed. Many of my Blog Pals flew in this weekend, and I have to say, they are incredible guys. I met many many awesome and amazingly fun was the best weekend ever. You guys just make my world.

Well, that and I got to march in the Parade with a giant Pink Parasoll.

Hi Everybody!

A good southern belle always stays out of the sun.

Dan , Chox , Waffles , JR & and I played hosts all weekend, and just had a blast. I'm having everyone send pictures (or I'll just steal them off their blogs) and will write about the whole weekend later. For now I just want to say a few good-bye's since I didn't really get a chance to yesterday.

Jeff - you are so much fun. Your midwest/canadian accent cracks me up. You are a total mess and I love ya. Thanks for the sweet phone call last night, I can't wait to come to Calgary and visit.

Adam you and B-rad have renewed my faith in Dallas. Come visit anytime.

Darin where did you go? I was looking forward to teasing you relentlessly and you disappeared. But you left Darin #2 in your place, and we had fun. Tell him I said "Auf weidersehen Leapschen".

Richard - amazing kisser, but what is your blog?

Ray You are too much fun, I wish I could've spent more time with you. Thanks for making me laugh so much, and the great hugs.

And finally, Atari - you rock my world. You look and sound like Dan Futterman, but sexier. Please move here, you'd be so much happier and I can already think of all the trouble we will all get into. I love you kid. You're the best.

To everyone else, I was glad to meet you all. We had some fun, Huh? Hope you all come back next year...if not for Halloween.

Oh, and if you haven't read JR 's good-bye you should. I think it will show what an amazing impact you all had on us this weekend. I'm jealous that I'm not that kind of writer. And JR, you made me cry.

XO and I mean it.


Thursday, June 22, 2006


I'm glowing today. Seriously, I can't stop smiling. I can't get any work done, I can't concentrate, I can barely write this post.

I met someone last night.

I met the man of my dreams last night.

6'6. Blond hair, blue eyes, good'ol boy. He said he can't wait for someone to start a fight with me so he can kick their ass.

I'm all for it.

I am 3* years old and I have a hickey. A HICKEY!!




Everyone keep their fingers crossed.


Tuesday, June 20, 2006


I have this whole big pride/father's day/trip to Texas Post brewing in my head...but I'm too pissed off to write it right now. It's 5:30, I'm ready to go home, I've lost my wallet (I think it's at my friends' house, but I"m won't know until they get home at 6) and I'm stuck at work b/c some dumb fool hasn't turned in her work yet.

I'm about to break out the voodoo doll!!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Shake, rattle and roll

So I was dreaming about being back in Texas (Waco specifically, I don't know why. I hate Waco.) and I was abruptly woken up by someone shaking my bed - Execept, I was alone in my room. Ah-ha! I realized that I do actually live in California now, and this was my 1st Earthquake.

I jumped over to this niffty site and sure enough, at 5:24 am PST there was a 4.7 down the peninsula. I'm suprised I felt it.

Ok, that was a nice little big ones please.

See you all soon.


Monday, June 12, 2006

6 degrees of Bloggeration

This post may only make sense to two people in the whole world, but you'll know who you are:

To the boy in St. Louis that was supposed to move to San Francisco, thank you for delaying your move. Yes, you found my blog, and yes I am that Kelly. You missed out, living in the house is great. Maybe if someone else moves out, you can have his room, but I'm a-stayin.

On an entirely seperate note: Does anyone know anyone or have any contacts in San Jose, Costa Rica? I need a bitch-slap delivered in person. Also, I need to have some bugs/spiders/snakes/body parts delievered and need to know what carrier services wills ship these internationally OR I need to have someone in Costa Rica pick these up and take them over to a certain person who DID NOT show up in San Francisco this weekend, despite all plans and promises to be here.


Friday, June 09, 2006


JR over at Memoirs of a Gay Chia and the incredibly sexy Kelly Stern had this on each of their individual blogs. Kelly asked that every blogger post this picture as a symbol of Pride for this month. I think it's a great idea.

Concurrently, this morning composed this letter in my head on the way to work this morning:

Dear San Francisco aka "The City" -

You are gearing up for quite a show. In the past few days, you have put out more ranibow flags and gay pride signs that I have ever seen. There is much hype and talk about this "Pride" celebration that is about to happen, and having never been to a pride before, I'm not sure what all the fuss is about. I mean a parade? More circuit parties? Muscle queens and bears on bikes invading you from places like Duluth and Pensacola? Eugh. Why even bother.

Then this morning I got it. I was walking down my foggy, tree lined street towards the MUNI Station, and in front of me was a cute couple holding hands and walking down the hill together. They were both dressed smartly, in business clothes, carrying matching messenger bags, and drinking their coffee. They paused breifly to smooch under a wall of bougenvilla, and then made their way to the train.

San Francisco, you have made it hard for me to be here. My first month here you brought me in like a new lover, we spent hours playing together and froliking and assuring me that we would always be together. But then, you turned on me like a woman scorned and brought upon me your full fury. You brought upon me thirty days of pouring rain, hailstorms, and your bitter cold. You unleashed your crackheads to chase me down your streets, your homeless to urinate, deficate and vomit all around me, and nasty fat troll bitter queens to harrass me and call me things like "racist" and "cunt". You pushed me to live in your darkest neighborhoods, hiding away your rent control apartments and denying me any decent place to live. You almost broke me.

Then, after you showed me your most ugly side, on the very day that I was about to pack up and leave you forever - you cleared away your clouds, enfolded me into your bossom, and showed me why I should stay. You have brought me friends, lovers, and joy.

This morning you showed me the promise of what could come - holding hands and walking down the street with a lover, boyfriend, husband. In my native state, I couldn't do this without fear or harm. In most of the world, I couldn't do this without fear of death! You though, you embrace us gay men and women into your diversity and remind us that we need to fight the religous right and educate the masses so that gay every man and woman in this country can be this comfortable in their own hometown.

Today, I am proud to be Gay and I'm proud to call San Francisco Home.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

AIDS Turns 25 (and I'm EVIL)

Here in San Francisco we take AIDS very seriously...ok somewhat seriously. AIDS turned 25 this year, and San Francisco is all out and about with AIDS awareness and education, which I think is great.

However, the giant purple flowers they put up along Castro confuses me (I wish I had a picture. They hung GIANT Irises, like 4 foot tall flowers on the street lights, I thought it was for Mother's Day.)

The city is also gearing up for it's next AIDS Walk, which will be in July. My blog buddies and I are all going walk, since all of us are in someway or another affected by this disease - I myself have lost several friends to it over the years. However, becuase we have to at least offend some people we are going to wear our blog names on our shirts...with a few minor alterations.

Mine will be "Who Threw that AIDS at Me?"

Which will be accompanied by Stop touching my AIDS and AIDS Turning 40. Maybe we can get other's in the mix at have All Prep and No AIDS or Incognito AIDS or Pope RaysAIDS or The Lost AIDS.

This is what happens when three bloggers get together for cocktails at Midnight.
This is what happens when you are Evil. I took the test and they said....

You Are 92% Evil

You're the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you!

(Chox, Dan - I win)

Tuesday, June 06, 2006


This is Still Life with Open Bible painted by Vincent van Gogh in April 1885.

This is Still Life with Open Bible painted by my 13 year old nephew in April of 2006.

I'm pretty impressed with his talent. No, I'm amazed by it. My 13 year old nephew, growing up in Podunk Texas, with almost ZERO exposure to culture, art or anything other than rodeo's and keggers has found an outlet for his creativity.

I can't wait to have him out to SF!

Thursday, June 01, 2006


Ever sneeze while you're peeing in the urnial at work? Ugh.

Moving Day

I'm moving into my new place...more to come soon...