Who are you?

My friend CYN sent this to me via email. I figure it would be faster to just post my resonse on here.

Ps. I'm eating Ghiradelli Citrus Sunset: 60% cacao dark chocolate w/ orange bits and carmel crunch. It's freakin amazing.


>1. What is your occupation? Back in Radio! Yay!

>2. What color are your socks right now? Black with grey heals

>3. What are you listening to right now? Johnny Cash Boy Named Sue

>4.What was the last thing you ate? see above

>5. Can you drive a stick shift? If I say a little prayer 1st, yes.

>6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Crayon out of which box? the standard 8, the 64, or the mega 200? I'd be in the giltter box anyway.

>7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Jason M. Now that I finally have a home phone.

>8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? How can I not like her, I've worn her bra.

>9. How old are you today? Same as I was last year and will be next year, 30.

>10. Favorite drink? red wine

>11. What is your favorite sport to watch? mens bodybuilding


>12. Have you ever dyed your hair? Orange once and then purple, both by accident.

>13. Do you wear contacts or glasses? I'm blind as a bat, I wear both.

>14. Pets? I have 16 radio sales people, does that count?

>15. Favorite food? I never knew what to put for this, but now I know. Tex-mex!! And let me tell you, there isn't any in San Francisco.

16. What was the last movie you watched? Walk the Line, amazing movie.

>18. What do you do to vent anger? Haha, clean!

>19. What was your favorite toy as a child? My jumprope. It was my wonder woman lasso, my cowboy rope, my numchuks, my pet snake, my bolo, my tail... etc

>20. Fall or Spring? Spring

>21. Cherry or Blueberry? either as long as its a frosted pop tart

>22. Do you want your friends to email you back? no, i want them to post on their blogs

>23. Who is most likely to respond? I guess we'll see in the comments

>24. Who is least likely to respond? Darin at APNH

>25. Living arrangements? My Gehtto room at the No-tel Motel in Lower Nob Hill

27. What is on the floor of your closet? the last tenant of this room

>28. Who is the friend you have had the longest? I've known scotty klekar since I was born.

>29. What did you do last night? Had a "super burrito" for dinner, went out for drinks, came home early and went to bed. Now ask me what I did today ;)

30. Favorite smells? Mimosa trees, thunderstorms, Egoiste by chanel

>31. What inspires you? The basic belief that everthing in the universe is all connected somewhow

>32. What are you afraid of? being sent to Prison

>33. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? cheese with A1

>34. Favorite car? God I miss having a car!

35. Favorite dog breed? Great Dane

36. Number of keys on your key ring? Three, 2 for home and 1 for work

>37. How many years at your current job? hehehe, 9 days

>38. Favorite day of the week? Saturday. Saturdays have so many possibilites and you can always rest on Sunday.

>39. How many states have you lived in? Now 2!!!!

>40. Favorite holiday? New years Eve. I love to have a big party and celebrate with all my friends.

I've officially made it as a blogger!

For two reasons. 1 is a suprise to come up soon.

2 is...TA-DA I finally have an annoying anonymous posting stalker. Yes, one of my very own. I will hug him and squeeze him and call him George. Acutally, I could really give a fuck what he says, and will never publish his comments becuase I don't belive in rewarding bad attention, but I will make one exception just to address him right now.

Ahem. Hey pussy boi. Fuck off. Trust me, you don't ever want to be on my bad side. Have the fucking balls to put a name or email on what you write. Loser.

Love

Kel

Now that we've dealt with the trash, and you all know how much I love trash, lets move on.

Rent or Buy Walk the Line. Best movie ever. Totally robbed at the Oscars. I just watched it and tomorrow I'm buying multiple Johnny Cash CD's.

And check back here for my suprise.

XO
K

Who threw that chicken at me?

Sorry I've been lax on posting, but I really haven't had a moment to relax. I have, however, had a few experiences and observations that I will share with you now.

I'm ready to admit it. Yes, I am a little princess. Shock, I know, but I thought the with the move here to San Francisco, I would shed my materialism, drop some baggage and live a care-free life with few possessions and just the joy of life to keep me happy.

Yeah, um..no.

As much as I try to spin it, I'm really living in a dump. Calling it a "pension" or "hotel" or even the charming "boarding house" isn't going to cut it. It's a dump. I realized that yesterday when my linens were changed and my sandpaper sheets had holes and old bloodstains on them, and my white see through towels smelled like poo. Oh yeah, and had PUBIC HAIRS embedded all in them.

GROSS!

So I dropped a few hundred dollars at Macy's yesterday and now have damask peacock blue 400 thread count sheets which cover a doubled over egg-crate to shield me from the springs in my "mattress" (and I use that term loosely). I also picked up some extra fluffy Ralph Lauren towels and wash cloths, pubic hair free. I had the first good nights sleep I've had since I moved here, and my towels were so fluffy I wanted to wear them to work.

See, things do make you happy.

I've also started braving the bus system here. I've pretty got the MUNI down, which is the subway system here. However, the MUNI doesn't take you UP the goddamned steep that kill your legs hills that I have to climb every day, so I'm exploring the bus lines. A few days ago, I braved the Chinatown express (actually the number 30 but it goes right up through C-town) and actually felt like I was in Shanghai what with all the animals on the bus. See the Chinese markets here sell live chickens, fish, etc and you can either have the store staff "dress" them for a fee, or take them home. I've learned that the Chinese are VERY cheap, so they take their animals home to kill them. Best Value.

In Chinatown this isn't a big deal. But, a lot of people live outside of this district and still shop there. So the other day I'm on a bus around where I work, down in SoMa (south of market street) and a little Chinese grandma tries to board the bus. If you live in SF or have been here, you know the type - frizzy gray hair, wrinkled little turtle face, sweat suit, Dr. Shoals, pink bags, cane to whack the round eyes with. Well this one was carrying a live chicken as well, not uncommon but also not really appropriate outside of Chinatown,where she was obviously coming from.

Well, La Shonda our bus driver from Oakland (the ghetto) wasn't having it! She wagged here 4 inch nails and said "Um, you can't bring that bird up in here. It's alive!" I was kind of in agreement with La Shaonda. Well, Grandma Mei-Ling obviously had a plan of her own. She took the chicken by the head and gave it a twirl.. CRACK and wrung its neck. "It no alive no more" she grumbled and got on the bus.

I could write about the heart attack that La Shonda had for the next 4 blocks, but I don't have that much space.

Jai Jan Gurhl!

Yes, It's That Girl!

I'm writing this at the end of my first work day in San Francisco, so excuse the fact there will be no cute pictures, links etc, as I want to get this done and get out the door.

I love it here. I have never been so happy in my life. San Francisco is truly "The City". I feel totally at home here. Every moment is a new adventure. I only hope that the honeymoon lasts for a long time.

This morning I walked to work, well walked and took the Muni (subway). I left my place decked out like a true San Franciscian; overcoat, messenger bag, umbrella, and iPod in my ears. Just as I was passing the St. Francis on Union Square, a familir beat started and Dolly Parton and I sang "9 to 5" as I joined the crowd of locals on the way to the train station. Once there I caught the famous, and beloved N-Judah train, which according to the map on the wall, would lovingly carry me right to my office. About halfway through the ride, the train came up out of the underground, and the sight I was to behold brought a smile to my face. I was presented with a beautiful view of the bay, and the Bay Bridge. As we traveled down the Embarcadero, I couldn't contain my enthusiasm. I asked the girl sharing the seat next to me "do you ever just look at this place and wonder how it is that you can live in such a magical place?", she didn't really respond, but the smallest of smiles met the corners of her mouth. She didn't dare break "the rules" by actaully speaking to someone on the train, but I could tell sometimes she probably wonders the same thing.

My first day of work went very well. My peers are fun and helpful, and I can tell I have already won their respect and friendship. Tomorrow I will hit the ground running and hopefully impress them with my knowledge and drive.

I still don't have internet access at home, so emails and post will be sporadic. I have to go now, my train will be coming soon, and I'm ready for a nice night at home.

XO

Kel de San Francisco

Blue eyes cryin in the rain..

So I almost made it through this weekend with my family without shedding a tear. Then today I had to tell my Momma good-bye. I didn't make it through that very well. I guess deep down all good southern men are just really Momma's boys at heart. As we were driving off, I cried for about 5 miles, then I had to stop. My friend Incognito was driving me back to Austin from my hometown (as I have sold my car) and we stopped and picked some Bluebonnets, which I'll keep pressed in book forever.

Now just on a side note, I read somewhere once that the reasons all Texans are so
tough is becuase from the time we are born, every spring our Momma's dress us in our Sunday best and make us take pictures in the fields of Bluebonnets. In fact, anytime you encounter a traffic jam on any Sunday in March and April in Texas, you can bet it's becuase of the line of cars on the side of the road where families have pulled over for their "Bluebonnet" pictures. Bluebonnets, aside from being the prettiest and most fragrant wildflower in the Great State of Texas, are also a host to a multitude of Texas critters including stink bugs, lizards, snakes, and of course, the ever present fire ants. Let me tell you, ever Texas child knows that while you are sitting in a field of Bluebonnets while your Momma is standing out there in her good heels, GOD help you if you dare move while she was taking your pictures and you get your good clothes dirty, or even worse, make the pictures blurry, no matter what matter of insect or beast was crawling over you or even worse stinging or biting you!

So anyway, it's my last night in Texas, at least for a while. I went to dinner with my best friend I've known since Jr. High, so that's been pretty long. We went and had good greasy Tex-Mex, and some good margaritas and sat outside in the balmy night air. She talked about her upcoming wedding, and I talked about my weekend.

I'll write more about it tomorrow, but I will tell you that yesterday my family put on the biggest bar-be-que send off party for me on Saturday and I was very touched by all my family and friends who showed up. I had aunts, uncles and cousins crawling out of the woodwork, even some kissin cousins. More importantly some friends of mine from Austin made the two hour drive south just to be with me. But the biggest suprise of all was that my favorite cousin (acutally my 2nd cousin) and his boyfriend drove 6 hours down from East Texas to say good-bye. I have to brag a little and tell you, I have the most amazing, loving family and some of the best friends that anyone could ever ask for. I hope that this trend continues on in California.

So this is it (and now I have the "One Day at a Time" theme song in my head). At 8:30 am CST I get on a plane and head west. I'm excited, I'm ready, and I'm looking forward to starting over with new goals, and a new world to conquer.

But I think I just might have to cry a little on the plane.

Get Down Mrs. Kennedy!!

It's a shot!

Much love to everyone that has helped me celebrate my birthday over the last two days. Bryan, Pookie Pie, Incognito, Rich, Dukester and John, you're the best, thanks for the love.

All my blog buddies, thanks for the well wishes.

Everyone else, thanks for the drinks. The 3 Skip n Go nakeds, 7 vodka red bulls, 4 vodka tonics, 4 mexican martinis, 2 southern comfort and cokes, 1 jack and coke, 1 matts fruity shot, 4 Jager shots, 6 beers, and whatever the hell else you crazy people poured down my throat, thanks. My liver and I thank you. As does my constant hangover today THAT I HAD TO LIVE WITH WHILE MOVING HEAVY BOXES IN THE HOT TEXAS SUN!!

I'm so tired but I have to tell you that if you live in Austin, or ever visit Austin, be sure to go dancin' at the Broken Spoke. You can't leave until you do that, which I did last night for the first time. Thank you Ms. Patterson for the dance.



So I'm at my Momma and Daddy's for the weekend. I drove down here in my Daddy's pick up truck, listening to the classic country station, drinking a Dairy Queen Cherry Coke and taking in all the Texas countryside I could see by the light of the moon.

It don't get more country than that.

I'm very excited to get on the plane Monday and start a new chapter of my life; but, I am also very sad. Texas is my home. It's where my people are from. My family settled this land, fought for it, died for it. My blood is in this ground. It's always gonna be home to me.


God Bless Texas!

So that being said, I'm off to bed. (hee hee, I rhymed) Tomorrow is a big birthday bar-be-que for me and my family. I wish you all could be here to taste my Daddy's ribs, they're the best. Sweet Dreams Y'all.

Happy Birthday to me...

Happy Birthday to me...
I look younger than all y'all...
Happy Birthday to me.



I've taken the day off from packing and moving. I had a delightful birthday lunch, had my nails did, my toes scrubbed, now I'm getting ready for dinner and drinks.

Warning to all my SF readers: I'll be there Monday and expect a full on San Francisco Birthday celebration sometime next week.

XO

Kel

Lost and Found

During the process of packing up my bedroom, I have found at least $137.00 in change, 72 paper clips, 47 lighters, 35 matchbooks, every tube of berts beeswax that I ever bought, 4 unused gift cards to various resturaunts and retailers, and a little white pill which I promptly popped in my mouth.

From 11 to 1 today, I thought I was Bea Arthur.

Things are coming along, but everytime I throw something away, my Mother "rescues" it from the garbage and puts it in a box for her. I have 3 boxes, she has 27.

I've run across a few plesant suprises. I found my Monty Montgomery Cd, so I'm listening to "I know you by heart" which is one the most romantic songs every written. I highly reccomend his music.

I also found a box of high school pictures. If I had a scanner, I'd post my Senior Prom picture so you could see how fly I was in my dalmation vest. Being the good in-the-closet-gay boy that I was, I of course took "Creepy Christina" to the prom. Really pretty girl, a little psycho. She unfortunately worn glasses with tape on the bridge ALL THE TIME. I have to say, her polyester spaghetti strap black jumpsuit totally ruined our chances for "best dressed couple".

The box in the very back of my closet held the biggest suprises of all. I came across a little cedar box with the picture of "The last supper" on the lid and inside was my great-grandmothers compass. I thought I lost it, so I was very happy to see it.

I also found my silver, which I thought my mother had stolen. (Chox, it's Acorn.)

It's funny how much just holding something can bring back memories. I remember my Great-grandmother vividly, but I can't remember her voice, or her ever speaking. I was only 4 when she died, but I remember she also took me to the dresser in her room and also showed me her compass. That and she always gave me a penny.

Maybe she's haunting my room, and that's why I've found five bazillion pennies everywhere.

Ok, I've got to get back to packing.

Be careful what you wish for.

I can't believe this is all happening so fast. I mean, I wanted it to happen, but its just happening so quickly! In November, I prayed, "Please let me move to San Francisco." WHAM! Here it is happening...all...very...fast.



When I was little kid, I loved spinning on the merry-go-round. My playmates and I would each grab a rung, and run like hell, spinning the thing so fast you'd thought it would take off. Then we'd kinda jump, while hanging on to the rails and for a few moments we were flying, laughing our fool heads off and hanging on for dear life while the world spun and spun and spun and everything was a amazing, multi-colored blur..

That what I feel like today. I'm so Happy to move, but everything is a blur. In a few short hours today I sold my furniture and it's gone! My Mom is here helping me sort and pack, and we had to eat dinner on the floor in an empty room. I've gone through 16 boxes of memories, taking a moment to reflect on each item before making the decision "do I haul this book/picture/scrap of paper to California, or let it go?" Most things have ended up in the trash or Goodwill pile. I mean, I love the plastic bead bracelet I got from my best gay friend in college, but do I really need to keep it considering I have no idea where he is these days? And I really love the monogramed flask that was given to me by someone that I haven't talked to in 4 years, so is it worth hauling out to a new city?

13 and 1/2 years of memories are in these boxes. I've carried these memories through 11 moves, 14 roommates, 6 boyfriends, 2 girls who wanted to be my girlfriend, 3 pets, losing 2 best friends that I thought I would have for life, and the death of someone who I thought was the love of my life. Some really bad moments in my life, and some really really fucking good ones too. And am I really going to leave them all here behind in Texas, all boxed and wrapped up in pretty shiny tape?

Yeah, I think I am.

This is what I asked for after all.

Where my cable at??

I sometimes question the competence of someone making $5.25 an hour being in control of aspects of my life.

For example, we you call the cable/internet company and arrange for your services to be terminated on March 13th, the day you are leaving town, and somehow, that highly qualified customer service representative schedules your services to be terminated on March 2nd, right when you need your internet service the most as you are coordinating your move online.

I had to go Real Shamkea Real Fast! You know what I'm sayin?

As you can see, my internet service has been resorted and Shamkea is back layin on the couch watching her stories until I need to call on her again.

I'm not sure what happened when I let her out, but one of my nails is broken.

Oh, and my friend sent me this article about Shirley Q Liquor . I don't agree with the writers opinion, but it is an interesting view point. I'd love to tell him how nice I think it is.



I love me some Shirley Q!!!

Forgive me father for I have sinned..

It's Ash Wednesday. A day of repentance for Catholics. So here I am repenting.

Dear Lord, Please let my head stop hurtin'm sorry for being, as my friend John put it "drunker than Cooter Brown's drunk cousin's gay niece that went to Tyler junior college".

I'm sorry for over indulging on Fat Tuesday, and over celebrating leaving the wretched existence of Title Work. The pitcher of Sangria, 3 Alabama Slammers, 3 Vodka Red Bulls, Bottle of Wine, and 2 Vodka tonics I drank in matter of 10 hours yesterday was obviously a sin of indulgence, and my penance is to feel this way today. Either that, or I was run over by a liquor truck at some point last night.

I apologize to all the innocent people I called and harassed last night. I sincerely apologize to Hot Guy who just moved here, I'm not quite sure if any of my words were making sense, but I was trying to ask you out. Unless, you were my friend Marshall, which you very well could've been now that I think about it.

Please help me find an inexpensive, convenient to work, temporary place to live San Francisco for a month, and it doesn't even have to be close to a bar.

I think I'm done with that for a while.

Amen