Ok, I'm done bitching...

Joel Over at "This is not Medical Advice" wrote a very sweet post today that put me in a much better mood. Also, he reminded me that when special people come into your life it's nice to ackowledge them. That being said:

Mr and Mrs X - it was lovely to meet you on your recent trip to San Francisco. You are both as witty and fun to be around as I would have expected from being friends with your son. It was truly a delight to spend time with you. Thank you so much for supper, and for "raising right" one of the best people I know. I hope to see you soon.

xo

Kel

On another note, someone has finally thrown his glove into the ring and started blogging. I'm not sure who gets to claim him as their "blog baby" - but all I'm gonna say is I knew him first.

Y'all welcome - The Chronicles of Natoma .

I'll blog roll you and add a few others when I have time.

Happy Writing.

One of those days..

I love it when you walk into your office and people start blaming you for something that went wrong when it isn't your fault. I totally got my ass jumped the second I walked in (late of course) and have been arguing back and forth ever since.

I have spent 2 hours this morning justifying why I wouldn't be the scapegoat for something that someone else did wrong. Fortunetly, I have all the emails and paperwork I need to back me up. Instead of economics, colleges should offer courses on how to Cover Your Ass (the pre-requiste being "how to fix the copy machine".)

So I proved that I was not the person at fault, yet I am still in trouble. Apparently emailing everyone involed and double checking the information got to the correct people isn't enough - my "communication skills" were lacking on this isssue.

The best is, I gave my dept. head a heads up that this was going on - and yet it backfired on me and I was called out for being late today - even though I provided a legitimate excuse, a made up one, but legitimate.

Whatever, I"m tired of arguing and I'm totally pissed off now.

As my co-worker said "You can try to teach a pig to sing, but it wastes your time and annoys the pig."

Oink

You know you are from Texas when...

.. your family sends you updates about their Steer.

"Just a reminder that Zip (the cow) will have his first show this weekend at the Comal County Fair. Wish him luck!"

Yee-haw

My Heros have always been...Crazy lesbians?

I have an old email address that I check about once a week. I mostly get spam, emails from things I signed up for ten years ago, and the occasional suprise email from someone from my past.

Today I kinda got a nice one.

There is a great organization in Austin called OutYouth . OutYouth is an organization for gay/lesbian/bi/transsexual youth who need someplace to go to feel safe. They provide counseling, leadership workshops and safe space for teens to go and work out their issuse with being gay, coming out etc. It is a very good organization and very strict on who can and cannot volunteer there becuase it is dealing with youth. I believe you can be a memeber if you are ages 15-18. When I went there it was 18-23, but times have changed. I really belive in this organization, encourage anyone to donate time or money to it, and I have a very very good reason for supporting it.

13 years ago this center, and more specifically the executive director, saved my life.

The email I got today was an annoucement that after a long absence Lisa Rogers has returned to OutYouth. She was one of the founding memebers in 1990, and served as the Executive Director for 7 years. She's also the person that held my hand one Wednesday afternoon in February 1993 and let me cry my eyes out. She's the 1st person I uttered the words to "I think I might be gay."

Pretty scary words for an 18 year old kid from small town Texas.

I haven't talked to her in years, but I'm glad she is back where she can help other kids figure out their life and give them the courage and strength she gave me.

The first day I went there I met several other kids my age who were all trying to figure out what "gay" meant. We became fast friends and remained so for a few years through college. We dealt with how to struggle against against discrimination, how to stand up for our rights, how to have our voice heard. We also learned how to deal with coming out issuse- how to tell your family, friends etc. Remember this is before "Ellen" or "Will and Grace" This was before the Internet, no such exposure and help as we have now. We all made it through - except for one.

Sadly, one of our friends commited suicide the day he told his parents he was Gay. They rejected him becuase of their religious beliefs. It was the same day I told my parents I was gay. I think it shocked them into acceptance.

Guy's death affected us all very much. It was very hard on me becuase before that Wednesday when I walked into the OutYouth center, I was pretty sure my only option was to kill myself. Lisa convinced me otherwise that day, that's why I say she saved my life.

I'm a very different person than I was 13 years ago. I owe a lot of it to OutYouth. I went from being shy and inward to outgoing and extrovered. I learned to trust myself, and my sense of humor. I went on to become the Vice-President and then the President of the Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual student association at the University of Texas - which is something I'll always be proud of. I found my voice, and I learned how to use it.

I'm very thankful that I met Lisa Rogers and this is the letter I wrote her today:

Dear Lisa -

I just read the email of your return to OutYouth. Congraultions! I
hope it is as beneficial for the you as it is for the program. I am
glad to hear that you are continuing to do great thing and help
inspire Queer Youth to move forward.

I will never forget the day we met. It was the day the the YWCA
pulled their funding from OutYouth. It took all my courage to walk up
the stairs of the Guadalupe building - and when I reached the top the
office was in chaos! You took me into your office, and persuaded me
to open up. I was so confused and so so lost. You let me cry my eyes
out and then you invited me back that night - it was a Wednesday. (Wednesday nights were new member nights)

I met so many good people that night - Dottie, Sid, Matthew, and of
course Guy. When Guy died you helped keep us together. It was one of
the darkest and hardest things I have ever had to deal with - your
strength and leadership helped us understand and make it thorugh such
a rough time

I loved it when we would go on the social work panel interviews. We
had fun times with you. The best though, was when we gave our
speaches at Regan High School to persuade them to allow gay youth
programs at their schools. You encouraged us so much to stand up for
oursleves and tell our stories. (I was on TV)

Most importantly you and the program helped me find the courage to
come out to my family. I'm happy to say that my enitre family -
Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, 2nd cousins, even 4th cousins,
love me for who I am and it has never been much of an issue. When it
has been I just remember all that you taught us and try to educate
them on the issue rather than argue. Whenver I am faced with
discrimiation and adversity - I remember the lessons I learned at
OutYouth and stand tall for myself.

Basically - you helped me walk through fire, and I know I have the
strength and courage to do it again.

I am now living in San Francisco and will probably move back to Austin one day
as it is my home. When I do, you can be sure I will look you up and
help out anyway I can.

13 years ago you saved my life. Thank you.

I hope you are well. Good luck and I look forward to seeing the great
things that you do!

Sincerely and with the Best of Wishes.

Kel

She of course wrote me back:

You sure know how to make an aging lesbo relic's day! Thank you so much. Wow. We're even.
I hope you do move back to Austin. I'd love to have an alum assoc. If/when you do, please track me down so i can hug your neck. That's so cool about your family. You got me grinning too, pal.

Fearlessly yours,

Lisa

Crazy Dyke.

Lisa always said to be "Fearless" and there is only "One you for All Times". I forget to be fearless sometimes, but it's nice to have a reminder.

I hope that I touch other people they way that she touched and helped me. So here is my advice for you today. Find your voice. Help Others Stand up for what you belive in. Stick to your Guns.

And be Fearless.

xo

The Path to hell is paved with good Intentions

From: Donald E. Wildmon
Founder and Chairman
American Family Association

September 18, 2006

Please help us get this information into the hands of as many people as possible by forwarding it to your entire email list of family and friends.

NBC, Madonna Set To Mock The Crucifixion of Christ

Help send one million emails asking NBC to show Christians the same respect they show other religions

Dear Reader,

Following the lead of Rosie O'Donnell and ABC, NBC has decided to join in the bashing of Christians by airing a Madonna special in November. A specific date has not been released.

In the show, Madonna, wearing a fake crown of thorns, descends on a suspended mirrored, disco ball-type cross. When some Christian leaders complained about the mockery, NBC ignored their concerns.


Making mockery of the crucifixion of Christ has been a trademark of Madonna for many years. In 1989 she had a video for the hit song "Like A Prayer." The video featured burning crosses, statues crying blood and Madonna--representing Jesus--freeing a saint from his sexual repression by seducing him. This is the same Madonna who once said, "Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them."

Kevin Reilly, an executive at NBC, said Madonna considered the scene mocking the crucifixion of Christ the highlight of her show. "We (NBC) viewed it and didn't see it as being inappropriate." Madonna considers mocking the crucifixion of Jesus the highlight of her show and NBC agrees.

Help us secure one million emails to NBC asking the network not to air the Madonna special by Clicking here

If you think our efforts are worthy, would you please support us with a small gift? Thank you for caring enough to get involved.

Sincerely,

Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman AFA


Hmmm... Don't Think so.

My Grandmother emailed this to me. I'm not sure why. Maybe she wants to step up the effort to save my soul. Maybe she saw "Madonna" and thought it would interest me. Maybe she thought I would agree with this letter and sign the petition to keep this mockery of Christianity off the public airwaves where it could influence small children and lead them away from a life filled with Christ's love.



I alwasy thought Jesus was for Free Speach. I mean didn't the Romans and the Jews try to keep him silent? Hmmm...irony.

Anywhoo I won't be signing this as I'm a pretty big advocate of free speech. I think any blogger probably is, but I'm pretty much of the opinion that it's one of the best thing this country has going for it - even if Bush & Co aka Karl "Beelzebub" Rove wants to change the constitution to get rid of it.

I love how this letter sites two specific things: A: Rosie O'donnel - whom I can only guess they don't like b/c she is a big loud pushy lesiban (go Rosie) and B: they don't think the networks are showing Christians proper respect like they are other religions. Huh? Sorry I didn't catch "The Matza Hour" with Myra Finkelstein or "Getting in good with Mohammad" with Omar Hazzal anytime this week. I must have missed Everyone loves Buddah as well - damn you TiVo.

Before anyone gets all upset, let me just say that I consider myself Christian - with a twist. I belive in the basics. I belive in God or a higher being. I believe Jesus did exist and he had a lot of good things to say regardless if he was divine or not. I think the ideas are right - love and forgivness etc. I think a lot of greedy and bad men have gotten hold of the Bible/Tora/Koran and manipulate things for their own agenda - mostly to make money, a la Pat Robertson. I think many many horrible things have been done "in the name of God" and I'm sure many more will happen. But, Love, Forgivness and faith are all there - simple elements, simple ideas that I embrace.

I'm honestly getting very sick of religous extremists of any kind. Muslim, Mormon, Christian, Jewish - whatever - get over yourselves. Belive what you want to belive, just stop pushing it on me. Let me watch and do what I want. Stop blowing up planes and buildings. Stop stabbing people b/c they want to hold a parade (like you did in Jerusalam). Stop molesting small children and blaming it on the gays...oh wait wrong soap box. And most of all STOP FUCKING WHINING that you aren't getting treated right. You OWN this government. You've gotten most of your pithy little laws passed banning gay marriage, gay civil rights, outlawing abortion, almost outlawing darwinsim. You have our education boards producing ignorant children who will grow up beliving the world was created yesterday in 6 days, and refuse to let them read Harry Potter. I'm sure in about 4 generations we will be banning math as it is "magic".

Sigh. Until then, Please..let us just listen to Madonna. She's not the Devil. She's not evil. Yeah, she was slutty, yeah she pushes the edge. It's called ART - and its important becuase it makes people think - something you religious wackos don't want any of us to do.

An open letter to General Mils

Dear Person at General Mills who comes up with new Chex Mix Flavors:



Your New Chocolate Chex Mix Turtle flavor is the bomb. Seriously, it's a choco-explosion in my mouth. The sweet "coco puff" reminiscent flavor is mixed with the salty good-ness of carmel and nuts just perfectly, as stated on your bag. You even remind us it has 50% less fat that regular potato chips, but even if it had 50% more fat that regular potato chips I would eat it. It is my new favorite snack.

That being said, I do have one small consumer suggestion. You have to many pretzel rings per bag. Now, i'm all for the occasional pretzel, in your regular flavors the pretzel provides an nice crunch, a hearty breadness and a lightly salted tingle on the tounge. However, in comparison with the rest of the Turtle Mix, the pretzel in teh case falls a little flat- in fact, it just seems to take up space, and one must wonder if you inculded it in such abundance to create a cheap, tastless filler.



In my recently consumed (ie scarfed down) 4.5 oz snack bag of New Chocolate Chex Mix Turtle I counted 31 pretzles. After eating 5, I determined that the pretzel was actually taking away from the salty/carmeley/choco goodness and leaving a bitter aftertaste. Then, while trying to avoid the pretzel, it became not a yummy part of my snack, but a true annoyance. The cute circular shape of your pretzel, while tepmpting some to play as though they are engagement rings or small monocals, actually trap other parts of the snack mix, especially the peanuts and milk chocolate candies. Thus, the non-pretzel eater, such as myself, my painstakingly excract the desierd tid-bit from the nasty pretzel and put back into the bag to aquire the perfect sweet-salty mix so desired, and as claimed by your advertisment on your own bag. I realize some people my be emphatically pro-pretzel, so I suggesst cutting down the number of pretzels per 4.5 bag from an overstated 31 to a more manageable 10 or so and replacin the missing preztels with more carmel popcorn goodness, since that seemed to be lacking much from my bag with only 4 or 5 pieces to enjoy.

I hope this slice of market research will be well recieved, and I look forward to our mutual consumer/eater relationship.

xo

PS. Just so you know the uneaten Circular Pretzel rings did not go to waste, they were turned into excellent projectiles to launch over cublicles in a competing office turf war.

Just an update

I'm heading off to Monterey and Carmel for the weekend. Ann Richards funeral is on Monday, so I'm not going to post anything new until then.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Losing a hero..

My Best Friend from Texas just called me.. "Kel", he said "The Governor has passed." I knew immediately he meant Ann Richards , not the current Governor, but definetly the best Governor Texas ever had, the 45th, and a one-termer. She died around 10pm CST September 13, 2006 after a battle with throat cancer.

Her official bio says she was from Waco, Texas - although my Great-Aunt from Waco always called her "that Gal from Lacy Lakeview." (She didn't like her much, but then my Aunt was a bit conservative, people from Waco aren't fond of Lacy Lakeview). She was a great orater, she shaped my political belifs and inspired me to participate in the political process. I always hope she would have reached a higher office one day.



I had the pleasure of meeting her twice in my life, and found her quick in a witty charming way. I don't think they make women like her anymore - tough ol Gals.

An educator of the masses she fought for the rights of the underdog, minorities, women and definitly a friend of the gays. Those who loved her found her a champion. Those who hated her did so becuase she shone a light of justice on those men who will always expoloit the weak for their advantage.

She was a legend in Texas politics, and appearing on the cover of Texas Monthly riding a Harley Davidson is the way I remember her best.



She is a iconic symbol of my home state, and I'm sure all of Texas is in mourning for her tonight. I am proud to say she is one of my heros, and my heart is heavy with her loss.

Asked once what she might have done differently had she known she was going to be a one-term governor, Richards grinned.

"Oh, I would probably have raised more hell."

Give 'em hell Ann. May you continue to inspire us all.

xo

Kel


Ann Richards
1933-2006

and... breathe

My work review today went well. Much much better than I expected. I almost slept through the night last night, only woke up once (at 5:00 AM, thank you mr. garbage truck). My co-worker checked out ok, but I for one would be really worried and demand they run enough tests until they found out what was wrong.

Project Runway is on tonight, so that's where I'll be, and then the next serveral day's I'll be checking in with my new favorite blog Project RunGay - whom I love and want to bow down in front of.

Hope everyone is having a more than status quo day! Make it Work!

Um.. Okay Death, was just kidding man.

Wow, talk about can't take a joke. Seriously though, I'm sorry I wrote that post. I hope I didn't hurt your feelings. Now, please, cut out the crazy shit in my life today.

For the rest of you, today has consisted of me:

A. Waking up at 1AM after a horrific post-nuclear war apocolyptic nightmare (set in disney-esq animation where we were all mice no less)and being scared out of my wits for almost an hour.

B. Waking up at 3AM convinced that my Grandmother was dead and that I wasn't going to be able to fly home because of this damn ear infection and being upset for almost and hour.

C. Having a co-worker at lunch have an unexplained seizure and collapse at the table as we were talking about seizures and aneurysms which I'm still totally freaked out about.

D. Having a "review" tomorrow at work all of a sudden, out of the blue. (ok, that might not have to do with Death, but I'm scared none the less.)

La la la lala, ok,..lets all be friends and be right with the world again, okay?

Death is at my door

Now, I am not afraid of Death. However, I am very annoyed when the fucker keeps banging at my door all weekend and ruins my party plans. Death can be a good wing man, a fun party guest as Ms. Bee's Knees can tell you I'm sure. Hell, we've partied at a bar in Ft. Walton Beach together before. Well, some how we got into a tiff, and you how how bitchy eternal entities can be and Death bascially had me trapped in my room all weekend with a fever. So, if I missed your call this weekend, or missed plans with you this weekend, I'm sorry, but honestly, it really wasn't my fault.




Dude, you are sooo off my Christmas Card list.

Happy Birthday Mr. President...

Acutally...today is the Fag Stag's birthday. I bet he needs a spanking...



Love you G!!

Wings huh?

I just knocked over a whole can of Red Bull on my desk. And when I mean knocked over, I mean tipped over but hit it just right so it Guysered OUT EVERYWHERE! My keyboard, monitor and several reports are covered sticky energy drink, not to mention it went running off my desk in to my lap so my my crotch and underneath is soaked as is my chair cushion, jeans..oh and it seems my wrist guard is as well.

fun fun fun..

Fuck Thursday.

It's a family affair...

I alwasy have these great intentions to post on "What I did this weekend." and then never follow through. I'm blaming it on Mondays. Mondays are evil, full of procrastination and crazy distractions. Mondays are so evil that even Starbucks Banana Coconut Frappicinos don't help. Ick.

However, I will tell you a some fun highlights from my Labor Day.

Blah blah blah, hung over, blah blah blah, Movie date during which I fell asleep, blah blah blah...

So Saturday, my FABULOUS and WORDLY Cousin BeBe whipped into town to show me some cheer. Now, this is no country cousin from Texas with 6 rug rats back home in the trailer...no this woman is fabulous on an International scale, having lived in Berlin and all over Europe, and now curretly resides in Southern California (I know). Not only is she highly intellectual, but she's also very pretty..or as my new FagStag said "I'd do her". (Him, not me.)

Also, she really didn't whip in to see me, but to break up with her old Beau so she could get along with her new Beau but I got to spend some hours with her so it was worth it.

Any-who..we hit North Beach and Chinatown, did some shopping at Union Square and then met the Stag and his friend for dinner at Farmer Brown for some good old southern food and sweet tea (REAL SWEET TEA!!!); and then on to cocktails at Rye. We laughed and told stories on her mama and mama, and our crazy cousins, and of course on ourselves. Like how we are related.

Now, BeBe and I are what you call kissin cousins. (Get your filthy minds out of the gutter!) That means we are not really cousins, or even Second Cousins (meaning our parents are 1st cousins)but we somewhere down the line we are related and like anyone one from the South will tell you Family is Family (blood is thicker than water, etc). BeBe and I are actually 4th Cousins Once removed - and we are also something like 13th Cousins as well becuase, well, a few generations back two 2nd cousins got married and tied us all up like a big old bunch of Kudzu.

Yeah, we like to tell that story after a few drinks ;)

Sunday was spent recovering from all those damn cocktails and then Monday was spent getting all sloshed again.

The Good Doctor knows some fun little wineries up the coast so he, I and Our Designated Driver headed up there for the day. It was beautiful. I have to say J was absolutly my favorite place on our tour. On the way back we drove along the Sonoma Coast and stopped off to take a moment of reflection on the beach..


It was absolutly amazing. As soon as Dr. Joel sends me some pictures I'll post them.

So that was my Larbor Day Weekend in an nutshell. How was yours?

I know you are there....

I know you are reading this. I know you have found my secret confessional. Even though you have never left a comment or written me an email..I know you are there. It's like when you know someone has been in your house, you don't know HOW you know, you can just feel it.

Or maybe someone just told on you.

SHHH...you know who doesn't need to know about this.

xo

(tip toe out...fade..)

*UPDATE*

Methinks some of you have guilty consciences...hehhehehe

Fag Stags

I have a new Fag Stag and I love him.



Ok, if you don't know what a Fag Stag is, let me explain.

I'm pretty sure everyone knows what a Fag Hag is; but just in case you live somewhere like Calgary and aren't up on lingo from the past 20 years, I'll explain my definitions.

A Fag Hag is an overly large female who is attached at a gay man's hip, goes with him to the clubs, gets very drunk, usually loses her purse/shoes/dignity and keeps her fag from hooking up. She is also there at all times of crisis/joy and is a fag's best friend.

This is not to be confused with a Personal Diva (or fairy princess) who is a fabulous, gorgeous, and will attract scores of gay men at a bar. She's the best shopping/lunch/brunch pal a gay man can have, though her own personal life sometimes interfers with "going out" time with her gay man.

Now we have the Fag Stag. This is a STRAIGHT GUY who is very secure in his own sexuality and realizes that gay men are the most fun creatures to be around on Earth. It also helps that we usually have scads of attractive women around us for him to hook up with (discreetly of course). A Fag Stag will flirt with his fag, pretend to be his boyfriend in times of need (like when the ugly crazy man won't leave you alone at the bar), teach his fag about sports, car motor repair, etc. All the while staying on the other side of that thin, but defined, sexual line. A Fag Stag is the best bud you can have...just please don't fall in love with him.

Whew..now we've all learned our vocab for the day.

I was very very lucky back in Austin to have a great Fag Stag. B had a lake house, ski boat, jet ski, and loved wine as much as I do. I miss him alot. It's great to have a friend you can just be a guy with, and I never really had that growing up. As a kid, knowing I was different, I shyed away from other boys and "boy things" like sports or hunting or anything like that becuase I felt I didn't fit in. As a young adult after coming out, I was so wrapped up in "being gay" that I never wanted to do any of those things. Now, as I'm more mature (ha!) its nice to reclaim some of that "guyness" that I've never had, and bond with another guy without all the sex stuff. B was a great outlet for all that.

But then I moved far way to The City.

Now, I have great friends here. Big GAY great friends and I love them. Since I've moved here though, I've felt like something was missing. I've been chalking it up to homesickness, missing my family, friends, etc. But last night I met a guy, a straight guy, and I realize today that I miss my straight boyz.

So G, you have some big shoes to fill. I hope we have a lot of fun toghther. I hope you take your shirt off a lot as well. ;)